I wish people could stop saying in voices that drip with compassion, “It’s OK, you can try for a girl the next time around.” Sometimes, they continue in voices that betray how little they believe in what they are saying, “Boys can be good, too. . .”
The Next Time
Clarissa's Blog 
Here is what I was talking about earlier. The guy tried making a distinction with regards to what he was trying to describe. What do you think?
https://twitter.com/UnlearningEcon/status/332968330526867457
Much of the conversation took place between May 9th and May 10th if you want to understand the full context of the conversation.
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twitter com/UnlearningEcon/status/332968330526867457
twitter com/UnlearningEcon/status/332764737886642176
Sorry about that. I wanted this in link form.
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Good? That’s the sum of their behavioural desire for their child, that he or she is good? I’d rather my child be naughty with lots of creative naughtiness, energy and life. Why would one aspire to have a good child? Less trouble I suppose, so they don’t have to bother so much being a parent.
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Girls are considered to be more obedient. And please don’t ask why this obsession with obedience. It puzzles me too.
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Obedience is a common american value. (of course, this was worse in USSR)
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I think Hugo has correctly identified one of the important reasons: the fear of one mistake that will destroy life (= being middle class) forever. For boys, it can be jail, for girls – pregnancy. For both, failing at school.
If your child is obedient, s/he will be hard working, hard studying, college going. If not – drugs, possibly jail, giving birth for girls, etc. will destroy his or her life.
When parents, except for (usually) religious fanatics, say disobedient, they don’t mean having different from mine political opinions, being creative or anything like that. They do mean objectively dangerous and/or stupid things.
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Actually, I think the real reason is much worse than that: obedient children require no effort, no time investment, no actual parenting. People simply don’t want to be bothered. 😦
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No effort seems to be a part of it, but only a part. In today’s economy many middle class parents worry about their children’s future and not without a reason. Unlike in the recent American past, people don’t think the next generation will have better lives and many may experience a shock, which is probably partly similar to people after USSR collapse.
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N. and I were just discussing the different reactions to the 1990s. In my family, it was “OMG, this is like the best ever!!!”
In his family it was “OK, whatever, we are fine either way.”
In many other families it was “OMG, this is the end of the world.”
Also: N. is Russian, so it took me a while to teach him not to say “the collapse of the USSR” in a tragic voice. 🙂 🙂 I still haven’t gotten him to refer to it as “the collapse of the USSR which was the most wonderful moment in the history of humanity.” 🙂
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In the class I’m taking this summer, we were asked why obedience is so intertwined in our concept of “good” as part of a class discussion on the Old Testament of the Bible. So that’s not exactly a new obsession.
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Ah, I keep forgetting about the importance of this religious conditioning for Americans.
Daily, I thank God in my prayers for growing up in an environment where it never occurred to anybody to visit any religious services or take me to visit them.
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It’s not just Americans, though. Or if it really is, it didn’t start out that way. Those ideas date back to at least around 700 BCE. They’re present in “Antigone,” too. Obedience to some religious deity (or deities), to parents, to the state.
I’m in a Western Humanities class. The professor’s awesome and gets us going on some pretty interesting discussions.
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It’s not just Americans, though. Or if it really is, then it didn’t start that way. These ideas date back to at least the 700’s BCE. They’re in “Antigone,” too. Obedience to religious deities, parents, elders, the state. They aren’t new ideas.
I’m taking a Western Humanities class. The professor’s awesome, and he starts us on some really interesting discussions.
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It’s not just Americans, though. Or if it really is, then it didn’t start that way. These ideas date back to at least the 700’s BCE. They’re in “Antigone,” too. Obedience to religious deities, parents, elders, the state. It’s not a new idea.
I’m taking a Western Humanities class. The professor’s awesome, and he starts us on some really interesting discussions.
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What are little boys made of? What are little boys made of? Slugs and snails And puppy-dogs’ tails, That’s what little boys are made of. What are little girls made of? What are little girls made of? Sugar and spice And everything nice, That’s what little girls are made of
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Jesus wept. We have the same kind of song in Russian. Scary shit.
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In my childhood I had a wonderful children’s poetry book with this poem, Humpty Dumpty and more. Quite sure they have all been translated from English.
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OK, that’s less scary then.
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On the less bright side, the poem seems to feel at home in Russian too:
Neposedu is a popular children’s group. So, you can continue being afraid. 🙂
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