Dialogues in Our Household

N. and I embody Dr. Phil’s favorite stereotype in that we have wildly divergent communication styles. One of us talks a lot, very fast, very loudly, with a lot of exclamations in Russian,Ukrainian and Yiddish, constant hand-wringing, endless exhortations addressed at an imaginary audience, and repeated invocation of all known deities. The other one  is the exact opposite. I’ll let you guess which one is which on your own. This is how all of our disagreements come about. Here is the most recent example:

“Ah, do you see at what time this man comes home? Now, what is the point of coming so late? Ver vaist? I don’t understand this at all. When one can come home not late, why does one come late? What is the point of just sitting there at work, all alone, long after everybody else has gone? This is very strange to me. I don’t understand this at all. It is cold and dark, what is the point of sitting alone at work in this weather? Can you tell me why you would do something like this because I don’t think I can understand it at all.”

“I went to the store. . .”

“Vey is mir, look  at this man, he went to the store. Now why did you have to go to the store when there is no need to go to the store? We have everything we can possibly need right here. Why did we go and buy all that stuff over the weekend? Wasn’t it precisely so that there would be no need to go to the store during the week? And now this man just goes to the store even though there is absolutely no reason to go to the store.  It is cold and dark, what is the point of running around a store all alone in this weather? When I just think of this poor man, running around  a store needlessly, oy vey, this is nothing short of horrifying.”

“I had to buy these things. . .”

“Do you hear this? Do you hear what this man is saying? He had to buy these things. I ask you, why did he have to buy these things when there is absolutely no need to buy these things or any things? Vo den, I ask you. It is cold and dark, what is the point of running around a store buying these things all alone in this weather? When I just think of this poor man, running around  a store needlessly buying these things when there is no need to buy these things. . . And then he just tells me he had to buy these things. We don’t need these things. we have many other things. The house is practically overflowing with things. Vos noch?”

“I need them to teach you driving.”

“Oh. This is so nice! Thank you, sweetie!”

8 thoughts on “Dialogues in Our Household”

      1. But look at the performance of roles. These can be done with any number of speech patterns. This how-dare-you-be-late masked as I-am-so-concerned-for-your-comfort is all too retro, and has to go.

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