Today in baby-related news it’s what we, Russian-speaking Jews, call “hell and Israel.” She screams, barfs, and gives me angry, resentful looks in between these exciting pastimes. My eardrums hurt because I keep forgetting that in order not to be rendered deaf by the sound of artillery fire, soldiers should keep their mouths open.
Today is the 9th anniversary of the day N and I met but the day started with N’s car refusing to start and proceeded right into “hell and Israel” for me. We will now try to salvage the anniversary of the best relationship known to humanity with a massive takeout order of sashimi and alcohol-free Guinness beer.
P.S. I hope nobody takes offence to “hell and Israel.” We are a culture of inventive, sarcastic ways of speaking.
Clarissa's Blog 
Not offended at all, but curious about the connection. Is this just one of your many fabricated nonsense-word combinations, or is it common among Russian-speaking Jews? If so, what’s the logic — do they expect ultimately to end up in one of those two locations?
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This one was invented by other people. 🙂 They seem to think these are unattractive places.
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