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Clarissa's Blog

An academic's opinions on feminism, politics, literature, philosophy, teaching, academia, and a lot more.

Satan Worshipers

Somebody writes on FB:

“My neighbors have 7 kids and 4 dogs they adopted from shelters. Their house is always very clean, and every time I come by they serve freshly baked cookies. The kids are all great students, and are very responsible and good-mannered. The parents are always cheerful and happy. I think they must worship Satan.”

I concur and need to add that they must also be very lonely. Who’d want to be friends with this walking reproach of a family?

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8 thoughts on “Satan Worshipers

  1. Anonymous on said:

    “Who’d want to be friends with this walking reproach of a family?”

    Huh? Are they making you feel “reproached” by being perfect? Dog lovers who give away free cookies can’t be all bad.


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  2. Dreidel on said:

    “Who’d want to be friends with this walking reproach of a family?”

    I would. I like dogs and love free cookies.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, sounds great.

      Shuffle on over unannounced pat a doggie on the head and not have to worry about cleaning up after it, scarf down some free cookies and then blow the joint.

      I’d occasionally invite them over hoping that their manic anal trauma will find the mess intolerable and they’ll feel compelled to clean up my place too.

      Win, win, win! I’d be sick of winning so much!

      (I guess women are socialized to react to de facto free petting zoo / cookie dispenseries differently).

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      • Dreidel on said:

        Ah, Cliff, you sound somewhat bitter, even for one identifying with the washed-up television BoJack Horseman character.

        Some of us, after a lifetime of wandering the earth in important positions, where various not-so-sincere people treated us as if we were very important because it was transiently to their advantage to do so, take genuine pleasure in knowing neighbors with dogs who seem to care about us simply because we’re a frequent visitor with familiar smells who likes to pet them and talk to them softly. No mess, just let the dogs sniff at you and shower you with affection, and show them a little back.

        The cookie-giving wives, like their seemingly content husbands, also seem to enjoy the occasional visit of an older man who pets their dogs lovingly and is genuinely nice to their kids without condescension, and has been around the world long enough to engage the adults in interesting conversation.

        Don’t be so cynical — it’s a symbiotic relationship. 🙂

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        • “Don’t be so cynical”

          Cynical? Moi? I’m just happy to take such a relationship at face value. Free cookies and doggie time for me….. who knows what for them? As long as they don’t draw the curtains shut and pretend their not home it’s all cool.

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  3. Shakti on said:

    “My neighbors have 7 kids and 4 dogs they adopted from shelters. Their house is always very clean, and every time I come by they serve freshly baked cookies. The kids are all great students, and are very responsible and good-mannered. The parents are always cheerful and happy. I think they must worship Satan

    Whoever the oldest girl is does the bulk of the chores in between the cleaning service they might hire.

    To have freshly baked cookies they either buy lots of cookie dough or make a whole bunch in a log ahead from which they cut cookies off. Or they bake a whole bunch, freeze them and then reheat them in the oven. Cooking for such a large family just means they’re very good at making and freezing ahead large quantities of food. They must have more than one fridge and a giant freezer chest.

    Are either of the parents realtors? The cookies are a realtor trick to make home buyers feel great about the homes they’re shown.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I figure this Facebook canard is mainly a statement of jealousy over a family who seems to be very uncannily “together”, thus triggering off a few complexes of an eternally disorganized type who is constantly tripped up by his/her slovenly habits and lifestyle—tired of always losing things, can’t remember where they put certain items, their residence has the appearance of a landfill and it’s been so long since they’ve cleaned their bathroom the toilet bowl resembles an open sewer (and people like them usually also have a ton of stuff on top of the toilet tank it seems), and there’s more dust floating around in their place than one would expect in an average construction site.

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