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Funny on Russia

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Clarissa

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Folks, I’m trying to board but this long article on Russia made me weep with laughter. It contains gems that could translate into American realities as “Oprah procures prostitutes for Obama and his friends, so she brought in Ashton Kutchner to have sex with Hillary, and there are now compromising photos of naked Hillary.” 

There are also less funny parts, such as burying the fact that Navalny is a neo-Nazi. 

There is a couple of semi-lucid paragraphs but they are buried under mountains of pure, unadulterated crazy. Russians are known for being extremely good at taking the piss out of foreigners while keeping a straight face. It looks like the poor journalist was pranked all over the place and never realized it. 

P.S. Why would anybody in their right mind assume that Trump would find photos of himself having sex with a beautiful, young starlet compromising? Because the cultural norm condemns it? Really? 

6 responses to “Funny on Russia”

  1. Jay Avatar
    Jay

    Of course he’d find that compromising! He hates the pictures of himself looking shitty while playing tennis. Can you imagine how he looks having sex? His flab bulging, his hair unwoven, his wattles mottled and sweaty? I’m 20 years younger and 50 pounds lighter than him, and I’d die of mortification from a picture of myself having sex with the most beautiful starlet in the world. And with me, nobody would give a shit, because I’m a nobody!

    A picture of himself, fully dressed, looking masterful with a gorgeous starlet on her knees in front of him, attending to the Presidential decree? That’d be fine. But actual animal sexpictures with his grotesque body Jabba-the-Hutting on top of some nubile 19-year-old? Not a good look.

    Which are the lucid paragraphs?

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Buzova is in her thirties.

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  2. Jay Avatar
    Jay

    I thought you were talking about beautiful young starlets in general. But … her being gorgeous in her 30s doesn’t make him look any less grotesque.

    You asked why he’d find photos of himself having sex with a beautiful young starlet compromising, and that’s easy. Because they would be the opposite of flattering. They’d be horrific.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      Would he be capable of understanding they are horrific, though? I know he’s “like totally smart and very stable” but still.

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  3. Shakti Avatar
    Shakti

    Ewgh. GSLiC is beyond shame. More pertinent and more upsetting (to him) are his actual finances.
    He wouldn’t care so much about the corruption but proof he’s not as rich as he says he is and relies on money laundering for the bulk of his cash flow for his overleveraged finances might send him into a frenzy. Might.

    Actually, the worst case scenario would be RICO penalties that actually fuck up his finances so much that that family is collectively and visibly broke.*
    *middle class

    It’s not impeachment and it’s not jail.

    He could clear all that up by releasing his tax returns of his entire adult life. **
    ** I’m shocked he never had a set of phony ones to release.

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    1. Clarissa Avatar
      Clarissa

      I agree completely with this comment. To believe that he would bend over for the Russians over some sex photos – that makes no sense. He’s absolutely likely to care about the things Shakti describes, though.

      This whole “I’m like smart and stable” thing – the guy is clearly taking the piss. Such folks, money is all they care about. It’s a different world, a different mentality.

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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