Agency

Did you, folks, read this story about the allegations against Aziz Ansari? I’m sure the young woman is sincere. She’s completely lacking in sexual agency to the point that this is painful to read. It’s like the real-life version of that notorious short story in the New Yorker we discussed recently but life is so much worse than fiction.

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18 thoughts on “Agency”

  1. Even the “SJWs” I know aren’t condemning Ansari. Glad to see there’s some sanity left in this world. I’m thinking #metoo may die out soon; we went from Harvey Weinstein to dumb things like this.

    Note that she’s also annoyed that he didn’t get the kind of wine she wanted, but she never told him her wine preferences. That opener really lets you know what you’re in for.

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      1. “it’s all a gag to take a piss out of the situation”

        Way to victim blame!!!!!!! (just kidding) As of yesterday the Shakesville woman was taking it very seriously at least on twitter.

        I think it’s serious I read a similar account a few months ago where the author was complaining that a guy she repeatedly went out with and never said the word ‘No!’ to to (she gave non-comittal non-answers to his direct requests) didn’t realize she wasn’t interested in him. How dare he not be an expert in non-verbal communication!

        In this case I think it’s either

        a) she was thinking it might be nice to be a celebrity’s girlfriend and she was upset that didn’t work out

        b) he made it too clear that he wasn’t interested in her emotionally which made her feel bad that a) didn’t work out

        And… race trumps sex in the SJW hierarchy.

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        1. At this age and in this culture, young women don’t want sex with a stranger. They want a boyfriend, a cuddle, and something to brag to their friends about.

          In this story, both characters are shockingly clueless because both are looking for what is physiologically not there.

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          1. In this story, both characters are shockingly clueless because both are looking for what is physiologically not there

            Physiologically? Not psychologically?

            And never mind “sex with a stranger” v a “boyfriend.” I’m just bewildered at the idea she doesn’t say, “I’m not enjoying this, let’s do something else” or “bye” a lot sooner and more bluntly. Or even, “I would enjoy this other thing?”

            Do I come from another planet? Because some of the things these younger women say make no sense. “I will not eat your ass.” What?

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            1. “I’m just bewildered at the idea she doesn’t say, “I’m not enjoying this, let’s do something else” or “bye” a lot sooner and more bluntly. Or even, “I would enjoy this other thing?””

              • Of course, absolutely, the helplessness is bizarre. But I’m also stunned he doesn’t understand that the chances that a 22-year-old woman will honestly be into what he is trying to do are pretty much nil. She is not physically capable of this kind of desire. He needs somebody his age or even older. Or from Brazil. They both seem strangely unaware of the workings of human sexuality. How could she think he’d want to cuddle on the couch? How could he think she wouldn’t?

              Sexual revolution, my foot.

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              1. 22 year old women aren’t capable of “dinner then I’m going to sit on your face?”
                I must have been a mutant because my problem with men my age was mostly, “You’re going too fast (sexually).” LMAO. I wasn’t dating men 10 or more years older though.

                Sexual revolution, my foot.
                I really don’t understand the point of sleeping around if you’re not going to get off or this reticence to shut it down if it’s not working for you. I also didn’t understand the point of needing to be drunk either. I was a very sheltered naive person at that age and much less experienced than my peers.

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              2. It’s really great that you were this way but it’s not common. Or it is in Brazil but nowhere else I know. Sex in itself is not what young women know how to want. Which is why they are so popular with men who have started running into their first sexual limitations. She doesn’t really want to while he really can’t, it’s the perfect arrangement. 🙂

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              1. It’s not.

                I forgot to mention that it’s in the context of these rants where apparently men request it from the get-go all the time, and the speaker keeps having to say no all the time. Also I didn’t mention the complaints about hygiene or bodily hair removal.

                I’m just amazed this is a thing. I shouldn’t be though if surra de bunda wasn’t a joke and butt eating appears in pop songs unbleeped on the radio.

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              2. God, I’m so happy I’m off the dating market. And have been off since the explosion of social media. People seem to think that the whole point of sex is to report it in minute details to the world.

                In the OP, it sounds like she was texting people all through the process. Creepy.

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    1. The parents should be investigated by the CPS. I’m very sorry for the poor kid but whatever made her do it isn’t going away and it lies inside the family. The best way to help her is have a social worker go to the family, observe, investigate, and proceed from there.

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      1. When a girl who is entering puberty fantasizes about being violently disrobed by a man, this might be an indication of sexual abuse. I’d take this very very seriously.

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  2. “And… race trumps sex in the SJW hierarchy.”

    Hence the large-scale support for Bill Cosby. Stop reading breitbart, cliff. It’ll turn whatever brain you have left into mush.

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