This training is just out of this world nuts. There is a whole segment on how when you see a student at a party getting very drunk and being groped by another student, you need to come up to the groper and tell them off.

Of course, the chances of me hanging out with drunk and groping students are less than nil. What are the students going to say? “Hey, I know what will make this party real fun. Let’s invite the middle-aged non-drinking Professor B to the party so that she can hover around, barking ‘Speak Spanish!’ and ‘Have you started working on your lab yet?’ at us!”

So why am I being quizzed on behaviors I’m beyond unlikely to observe?

16 thoughts on “Unlikely”

  1. So why am I being quizzed on behaviors I’m beyond unlikely to observe?

    Because the people who designed the training are giving you the same ones aimed at students?

    Because they expect you to repeat some version of this to students who come to you?
    “Professora, I don’t know what to do, I told the groper off!”
    “Tell me in Spanish, again?”
    “Fine –[Spanish].”
    “[Spanish] You did the right thing. Also you are demonstrating true fluency by being able to talk in your second language when you’re extremely upset. Congratulations.”

    There is a whole segment on how when you see a student at a party getting very drunk and being groped by another student, you need to come up to the groper and tell them off.

    You need training to intervene in situations like this? I’d be hack coughing on the next person suggesting this since I’m too sick to actually yell at anyone.


    1. Hey, it’s actually a fantastic idea to teach them to say these things in Spanish because our students go to Latin America on study abroad and come back very traumatized because they are unprepared for the degree of harassment they encounter there. And nobody ever mentions it in advance because we are all in the grip of ridiculous paroxysm of political correctness.


  2. I’m surprised your listening to it. You are taking an online course, right? So are we. Ours shuts down if we open up a second window (which is SO annoying). So I brought my personal laptop in to school, let the training play on my office desktop computer, turned off on my office computer, worked on my personal laptop and just clicked when necessary. Sometimes they make you take some sort of quiz but they are so easy and you get to retake it instantly for any questions you get wrong. We have to take four of them and I finished two in about an hour using this method. It’s still a stupid waste of time. But I am going through it so quickly that i barely am registering the content.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s what I’m doing, yes. But snippets of the lecture are still getting to me. I took the test at the beginning and at the end and got the exact same result (88%, I’m a B student, it seems.) So it didn’t have much impact on me. 🙂


  3. If you are the advisor of a student group you might actually end up having to go to a party. I think these questions are aimed at that situation.


    1. I am an advisor to a student organization. And there is no chance I’d ever go to a student event with alcohol present or would allow such event to continue once I’m there. This should be a university policy instead of forcing individual faculty to assume responsibility for the consequences. This is nothing but a way to palm off responsibility and legal costs on individual employees in case there is a lawsuit or a criminal trial. And I don’t make nearly enough to accept this kind of a financial and legal burden.


      1. “no chance I’d ever go ”

        Where are these materials from? Your institution or are they made for a broad variety of employees and therefore have to include lots of things that won’t apply to many of those who have to work through them?

        Back in my undergraduate days there were student functions with alcohol on campus (usually just beer and/or wine) but also student functions were held off campus… and sometimes faculty was around.

        Things were a lot…. more lax back then.


        1. After Obama’s “dear colleague” letter, any faculty member who does agree to be anywhere near this kind of a situation is taking a ridiculously high risk.

          The whole point is to prevent state colleges from paying damages. Or investing in professional counseling services. It’s all about money.


      2. We’ve got an alcohol policy but it doesn’t include this rule yours apparently does.

        I’m advisor to a student group that meets every week in a bar, but then I am in Louisiana. Quite a few of the students aren’t old enough to drink & so order other things. Those who order drinks, don’t order many. I am ready to not let people drive away drunk, but nobody has ever gotten drunk.


        1. I have no idea what our policy is. I just know that I’m not going to be in that situation because if something bad were to happen, the university will make me take the fall because this has been turned into individual responsibility that is shouldered in loneliness. If I am to be held personally responsible for these things, I simply refuse to show up.


          1. Yes, we have faculty who won’t go to meetings of this organization for precisely that reason. I wouldn’t have started the tradition of meeting in this bar but I see why they do it — it is comfortable and there is always space, and you don’t have to reserve some sterile room on campus, or make prior arrangements for food, etc., so it’s very convenient and also pleasant, large couches on a nice patio, good coffee table for games or showing people things, photographs, etc. — last time it was having Tarot read in Spanish, hilarious and fun, great for practicing descriptions of people, verb tenses, etc. — so I haven’t tried to change the venue (just to add other events, in other venues, that aren’t alcoholic). BUT there are faculty who will NOT go to the meeting in the bar for reasons of liability.


            1. Oh, and this bar lets you bring pets. One of the big problems the organization had with meetings and meeting times was the question of pets, people who HAD to go take care of pets. This bar allows them, if you sit out in the patio area. That was one of the main reasons for meeting there, although the pet people have since graduated so the original cause is gone.


  4. I actually would rescue a student being groped by a(nother) drunk student, if I were in a venue with drunken students which I doubt I would be … but then I would do the same thing if they were not students. I really, really think this question is oriented toward faculty advisors for the Greek and sports related organizations — that’s where the alcohol flows. Yes there are also security guards, etc., but there may be faculty or staff chaperones around, or coaches, and yes, those people should intervene if they see some form of harassment starting.


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