Passive Aggressive

This reminded me of this fellow I used to work with who’d say things like, “Everybody says that you are a total bitch and a rancid whore but I don’t think it’s true. I hear people say this about you all the time, but I don’t believe it.”

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29 thoughts on “Passive Aggressive”

    1. “subtly insulting”

      Subtle? It’s like a big red flashing sign: “When you screw up (as I know you’ll do!) I’ll never blame you!”

      This is direct verbal abuse under the guise of being ‘caring’ the person who did this is a monster, the fact that they don’t realize it doesn’t excuse them…

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      1. And that’s a lot worse to me than a direct insult. With a direct insult, there is a room for a response. Here it’s more of a “let me use these statements about you that wound you to feel good about myself. Because you are nothing but a prop for my ego trip.”

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        1. “you are nothing but a prop for my ego trip”

          The shakesville woman does this a lot, subtlely dropping in lots of abuse (supposedly quoting others) to let her followers know the damage she could do if they’re not grateful enough for her benign ministrations.

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          1. There is this blogger who is enamored of the n-word and peppers with it the imaginary speeches he attributes to the people he doesn’t like. And it’s always in the vein of “I hate these racists who say [a string of outlandishly offensive racial slurs].” And again, and again.

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    1. \ I’m not sure how reminding people of all these stereotypes every day is helpful.

      It is very helpful for the professor who is cheered up by those pages every time she enters the room.

      It is one of the few cases in which I am thankful Jews are considered “priviledged” by mainstream Liberals in America.

      Fun exercise: which other groups should she add to that collection?

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  1. The “Dear Muslims” and “Dear Latinos” are the most insulting since they refer to things the members of those groups supposedly do themselves rather than to things done to them, like in “Dear Women.”

    I do not care about “Dear Women,” but if she put “Dear Jews”, I would want to complain.

    Clarissa, you talked about dropping out of class, why not complain instead to the university, if asking the professor doesn’t work? Or why not both complain AND drop out since complaining and then receiving a course grade from her most likely wouldn’t work out well for the student?

    Personally, if I saw “Dear Jews,” I would be tempted to use her proclaimed ideology against her and ask the prof to take off that page because if was triggering to me every time I entered the class. I wouldn’t even be completely false since feeling angry is bad for one’s health.

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      1. \ I’m from the USSR, so I don’t complain to authority. πŸ™‚ I only complain about authority.

        Oi. You know I wondered whether USSR influenced you before your response.

        Hasn’t living in America changed you though?

        I left in my early teens, so I have 100% Western-Israeli mentality, I think. Also, I was born later and missed communist propaganda at school entirely.

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      1. Yes. As El said, the signs regarding the Muslim and Latino students are by far the two worst ones. None are great (the LGBT one is probably the best) but those two signs are truly terrible.

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  2. The LGBTQ one is vague and bland enough that it doesn’t bother me like some of the other ones do. To keep in line with the other items, it should say something like “you are NOT perverted freaks” or “you do NOT molest little boys” (the second one would have to be on a “dear gay men” poster I suppose.)

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