Bad Poetry

I don’t know about everybody else, but Argentinians would be livid.

And what is “a thermal spring”?

14 thoughts on “Bad Poetry

  1. Oh I kind of like Brian Bilston’s poetry (including this poem). I don’t think he’s a huge poetic genius or anything but he’s interesting. He does a lot of word play and exists on the edge of the silly, the sentimental, and the stark. He’s sort of like an updated Stevie Smith.


    1. I never heard of him before. But I can’t fail to be defensive on behalf of Argentinians who flip out like a nuclear bomb when anybody mentions maradona’s hand.


      1. \ Argentinians who flip out like a nuclear bomb when anybody mentions maradona’s hand

        Why? I googled and thought Maradona was a good football player.


        1. He supposedly scored a goal with his hand. That’s a moment in soccer that Argentinians perceive as deeply humiliating. If you want to bug an Argentinian, there’s nothing better than bring up the famous “hand of God”, which is how Maradona excused scoring with his hand.


  2. Here’s some worse much more pretentious poetry.

    starts playing bongos & a cello while holding a mike at open night, it’s spoken word

    America is a gun
    and Florida–its barrel.
    The world policeman without a beat,a reason.
    So it turns on itself, ceaselessly between infomercials & breaking news.
    “Dance! Dance!” says Yosemite Sam,
    “Dance, dance, revolution!
    says Emma Goldman.
    “Ghost dance!”says Wovoka.
    Tweet tweet goes the President.
    Tweet tweet the scared birds scatter at New Year’s Eve into the cold
    the 4th of July into the heat
    and little Bobby’s fingers into the grass.
    3-2-1 weeks, months, days
    between abandoned backpacks
    and cellphones ringing without pause
    without mercy
    only to find a dial tone
    a relic for time travelers
    looking for the nearest phone booth.
    Superman can’t save you now & Special Ops is busy.
    “All our operators are standing by.”
    “Stop calling.”


  3. “Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been “disappointed” by the poem’s reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled “My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles” when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save humanity, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings (Paul Neil Milne Johnstone) of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison.”

    h2gt2g Douglas Adams – Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy


  4. At least this poem rhymes and has a repeating cadence, which is more than you can say for the so-called free-verse “poetry” that appears in “The Atlantic” magazine every month.


    1. If you look at today’s poetry magazines, most will scoff at rhyming poetry.
      I personally love nothing more than a well-executed rhyme and a poem with great cadence, but sadly that’s very much out of fashion these days.


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