Funny Article

This article about the closure of Backpage is pure comedy. I’m sure it’s not supposed to be funny but it is.

Prostitution is perfectly fine but we are only going to write about a prostitute who did “nothing but” handjobs. Nothing too distasteful for our classy readers, please.

The prostitute has no contact information for her clients because “she cares about their privacy.” And they are not managing to find her in her “office in a nice building with a receptionist” because they are apparently brain-damaged and need to be given directions afresh every time. Through the website. Because a website is a lot more private than one-on-one contact.

And she lost all her clients not because she’s nearing retirement age but because a webpage closed. Of course. Clients are desperate to use a prostitute on a Zimmer frame. If only they could remember the address where they always see her. Drat. Old age is a bitch.

And of course it wouldn’t be a good sob story without cancer. So cancer was somehow massaged – sorry for the pun – into the narrative.

And Craigslist reduced the number of homicides by 17%. I wonder why not by 117%. It’s not like anybody is a fanatic of accuracy here.

We were talking about reporters who take bribes for stories yesterday. This has got to have been paid for by some coalition of not very bright pimps.

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3 thoughts on “Funny Article”

  1. Free, indie alternative papers like The Stranger, various City Papers get (or got) a lot of revenue from personal ads, various party lines and the like. When I was young and my parents would take us to the local pizza parlor, I’d always grab one and derive endless amusement from reading the personal ads full of acronyms. You’d never read an anti-prostitution article in any of these papers, ever.

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      1. Yeah, the personal ads in those “alternative” newspapers were a loot. I remember an ad in a free California paper that read:

        “Will the cocksucker who stole my wallet in the park last week at least have enough minimal decency to mail me back my driver’s license, Social Security card, and credit cards, which you can’t use because I’ve already had the cards cancelled. Send them to the address on the driver’s license. Keep the money, asshole.”

        I wonder if the poster got a response.

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