Fussy Communists

There’s absolutely nobody fussier and more obnoxious at a restaurant than people who unironically call themselves communists. It seems that digestive issues directly correlate with being a clueless poseur.

8 thoughts on “Fussy Communists

  1. I met two Communists in Eugene, Oregon in 1980. I used an upper case “C” because they were members of the American Communist Party working to get the Party on the ballot in Oregon elections. One of them was a piano tuner who ran his own piano tuning business. I asked him if that was consistent with Marxist/Communist principles. He said it absolutely was, since he did all the work in his business himself and so had no employees that he was exploiting. He also owned his own airplane and had flown it to Cuba and met Fidel Castro.

    I met them at a small restaurant where I was having lunch. There were no free tables, so I asked if I could join them in an empty seat at their table.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to know a communist who owned factories. I asked him how he squared this contradiction in his mind, and he got upset, saying it’s not his fault he inherited them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a certain kind of leftist who’s likely to have digestive problems, allergies, autoimmune diseases, and anxiety disorders. I pity their doctors.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The key thing all these things have in common with leftism is: boundary issues.

      The same people who have trouble figuring out where their authority ends, and other people have the right to make decisions different from theirs, and who think national boundaries are passe… maybe it extends to the micro scale, where their immune systems have trouble figuring out what’s “me” and what’s “an intruder”, and their guts have trouble figuring out what should be absorbed, and what should be kept out. Their psyches have trouble excluding things that aren’t threats, and perceiving things that are.

      I’ve seen all of these things together in the same person so many times, it piques my curiosity intensely: if they could solve one or more of these problems, would it alleviate the rest? Like, if they got really good psychiatric help and solved the anxiety/mental problems, patched up the dysfunctional relationships that inevitably result from not having personal boundaries, would the autoimmunity get better too? If they solved the gut issues, would their outlook on immigration and national borders change? Inquiring minds want to know.


      1. Honestly, I suspect that whatever biological factors cause their digestive and immune problems also affect the brain. It’s just another organ, in the end.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. It is a fascinating and under-researched (probably the research is taboo) phenomenon in health care, that crops up in discussions among people who’ve worked in healthcare fields for a long time: there are certain diseases that come with their own personality. We all know about this on some level, because we talk about the “Type A heart-attack personality”, but apparently there are also unique personalities that go with type-2 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune disorders, and probably others. Some healthcare workers (off the record of course) swear they can tell just by the way a person talks and behaves, which of these diseases they suffer from. It’s not really clear whether certain personalities are more prone to certain diseases, or if the diseases themselves cause the personality changes. Perhaps those two things are so tightly intertwined it is not possible to separate them, or perhaps the the disease and the personality both spring from an unidentified common source. My nickel bet’s on the latter.

          Liked by 2 people

      2. Oh, that’s a brilliant insight. I love it. There’s definitely an issue with boundaries on the left. The oversharing, the belief in the power of words to inflict physical wounds, the need to force others into one’s minutest preferences, the need to make everyone privy to the workings of their bodies and psyche. But then also an incapacity to tolerate borders between states.

        Totally makes sense. Now the main question is, how do I keep myself from stealing this insight for my new book?


        1. It is not an original idea of mine, FWIW. The first time I saw it mentioned, I thought it was nuts. But I also thought it was funny so it stuck in my head… and then I started seeing it all the time. And now I don’t think it’s nuts anymore. Boundary issues flock together? A single astral-plane pathology manifests in multiple physical-plane modes? Moved a boundary-stone in a past life, and now your karma is to live without proper boundaries? Perhaps it’s a type of demonic obsession, eroding all borders until the individual collapses into the collective sludge?

          I feel like there’s a fun short story in there somewhere…

          I don’t believe in stealing ideas. Anybody who goes to the trouble of writing a book has earned the use of the ideas that went into it, and I love seeing how different writers explore the same idea. Whether they’re good ideas or bad ideas is a different matter 😉

          Liked by 1 person

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