Klara now listens to books and / or plays on her own for hours. I’m free to do whatever I want. Read, watch Mexican soaps, take baths while reading and watching soaps. This situation plunges me into intolerable feelings of guilt. If you ask why, you are probably not a parent. Guilt is the default state. I feel like a horrible mother because I’m not entertaining her. Even though she adamantly refuses to be entertained and insists she wants me to leave her alone.
Parental Guilt
Clarissa's Blog 
Didn’t you enjoy playing alone when you were a child? I remember I did and a lot.
May be, thinking of N’s and your own past and present joy of being inside one’s head w/o external interference would help deal with residual guilt.
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I know the default is guilt, but this should be a source of pride. Especially since she has no living siblings. So many parents of “only” children give into the guilt and cultivate a child completely dependent on having the parent as a constant companion. It’s a true accomplishment that she is both capable of – and shows a clear preference for – entertaining herself.
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