In Your Face

Building management created a welcome mat that features the portraits of our senior administration and glued it to the floor at the entrance. Now you can’t come into the building without stomping on the faces of the chancellor, vice-chancellor, and the provost. I don’t know what the thinking was behind this project but it surely lifts the spirits of anybody who enters the building.

Another fun project my university did consisted in paying a gigantic amount of money for an enhanced police presence over the Thanksgiving break to catch drunk drivers on campus.

Guess what is entirely absent from a campus during Thanksgiving, though? Right you are! Drivers! Everybody is away. The buildings are locked. The million-dollar campaign against drunk drivers caught exactly zero drivers. Because there were no drivers.

A million dollars is the entire yearly budget of my department. It would have been better used catching birds in the classrooms because it’s annoying to have a bird fly into your face when you enter the room. (True story).

3 thoughts on “In Your Face

  1. This could be fun: everyone list what the organization you work for does that’s stupid. My company insists they cherish family values. They insist people “take time to be with their families” and say things like, “family, faith, work” in that order. But then they give unrealistic work deadlines and then get angry when the world isn’t done. So people are working nights and weekends to stay on track…but are then admonished for it.

    But truly, putting faces on the ground to get stepped on is a classic. Ha ha ha.


  2. The academic bureaucracy is so bloated they don’t even know what to do to justify their existence. They’re constantly thinking up useless workshops, presentations, teaching seminars, etc. in an attempt to appear to be doing something valuable.

    This is why I can’t take any student debt relief seriously unless it addresses the increasing cost of college. Cutting this bloated bureaucracy is an obvious start.


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