I hold no grudges against people I know but I have intense, very long, unrelenting fits of rage against being mistreated by authority.
For instance, today I went all out to help a colleague who’s been nothing but shit to me for years. I sincerely don’t care that he’s lousy to me. It’s on him. I can’t be bothered to notice.
I discovered that somebody at work hates me and is spreading really crazy, vile rumors about me. This piece of news bores me so much I keep forgetting it. It gets comical when I meet the hater in the hallway, vaguely remember that I recently heard something about her and make an exaggeratedly happy face to conceal that I don’t remember what it was. Then I notice her outraged gaze and remember that what I recently heard was that she detests me.
However, that one single time when I had to wear a mask in the classroom – I’ll hold that grudge close to my heart forever. On my dying bed I will burn with indignation over it. Because it was done to me against my will.
There’s no chance I’m ever getting over a single lie I heard on the news, the “anti-racist books” we were forced to read against our will, the COVID lies. Twenty lifetimes are not enough to get over it.
Often, people are the other way round. They obsess over a single unintentional snub from a friend or an ignored text message from a relative but have no anger to spare over having to walk around in a face diaper for two years or having to inject some weird crap to be able to eat at a restaurant.
We should be kinder to each other and a lot less kind to institutions, organizations, agencies, and authorities.