You know how sometimes you need to end a relationship but aren’t managing to disentangle yourself emotionally? (I’m not talking about N, everybody, please calm down. It’s a different kind of relationship). There’s still the feeling that you need to explain something, there are inner monologues directed at the person in question, there’s waiting for phone calls and text messages. I know on a logical level that it’s time to let it go but it’s hard, it’s hard.
I’ve given the relationship every chance for 42 days. Not any old 42 days but the 42 days of the war. I know I should stop hoping for a miracle. If somebody who’s not from Russia and has absolutely no connection to Russia has chosen Russia over me, this simply means she’s not that into me, right?
From past experience, I vaguely remember that what helps to sever attachment is to find a replacement object to attach to. (Ideally, not a person because that’s unfair to the replacement individual). I’m not seeing what that could be right now because my life is pretty full at the moment.
It feels stupid to whine about something like this when there’s a war going on but it still hurts.
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