Today I discovered that since I emigrated, my native city of Kharkiv invented a new variety of pizza. This Kharkiv pizza has a very bready pie and instead of tomato sauce is covered with a liter of mayonnaise. Toppings are placed over the mayonnaise.
It’s a hallmark of Soviet cuisine that absolutely any dish is a vehicle for delivering mayonnaise into the human body. I never imagined, though, that not even pizza would be spared.
The only thing worse would be this abomination in Chicago-style pizza.
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“Kharkiv pizza… is covered with a liter of mayonnaise”
Are you sure this real and not russian disinformation intended to turn the world against Ukraine?
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It pains me to report this, too, but I have to be honest with my readers.
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I made this kind of thing a lot when I was a kid, as part of my blessed struggle against the demon Tomaat.
Mostly used thinly sliced, for a lack of better word, smoked bacon as a topping, as well as an unreasonable amount of cheese on top of some freshly made dough.
It all baked out into liquid fat than then suffused the dough and made it very crispy, a lot more so than regular pizza base would be, and the chew element would mostly be provided by the toppings.
Calling it pizza would misdirect people as to its nature, but it was not the worst thing that I ever made. The thing I imagine that most people find objectionable – the consistency of mayo, in the same volume as tomato sauce, is basically not present in thin baked sandwich bread made this way. Mayonnaise just doesn’t react to heat the same way tomato sauce does.
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“Calling it pizza would misdirect people”
I used to get these a lot though they’re harder to find now…
They’re called ‘pizza bases’ but they’re nothing like pizza dough… I heated them in a fyring pan (just barely enough oil so theyw wouldn’t stick) until they started to brown and then topped them with a thick and spicy meat sauce. Quick and easy.
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OH! So this is why I absolutely knew you were pommes frites after all!
Because what would pommes frites be without that huge dollop of mayo on top? 🙂
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