Killer Grandpas

Turns out that the last two big mass shootings in California were carried out by retirement-age men. The Half Moon Bay shooter was a 66-year-old Chinese man and the Monterey Park shooter was a 72-year-old Vietnamese grandpa.

Is it some COVID-induced madness? Men this age didn’t use to run around mowing down people.

5 thoughts on “Killer Grandpas

  1. You know, this is getting more believable!

    Hats off to the FBI and CIA for creating semi-plausible stories.

    Did you hire a team finally to vet all of those stupid stories coming out of your writers?

    Because everyone knows that a single guy lifting a 400 kg section of plate glass out of a window in a heavily monitored casino building is about as plausible as Santa Claus being the culprit of the Hatton Garden thefts. 🙂

    “Men this age didn’t use to run around mowing down people.”

    That’s true.

    One of my American ancestors was responsible for the unceremonious deaths of over three thousand British and Hessian mercenary troops in America on the day before Christmas.

    But he wasn’t that old. 🙂

    [waves my little Sons of the American Revolution flag]

    I have one of these for the other side too, in case you were wondering.

    What these old men lack is leadership and a goal.

    “Kill as many British and Hessian mercenary troops as you can before they cross the river and start attacking American troops” is a goal when you receive it as an order from a leader.

    Remember that bit in the Bourne series of films where Parsons tells the ops team the bad news about who’s making up Bourne’s missions?

    Yeaaaaah.

    But don’t worry, these are just FBI and CIA wind-up toys being called in so they can offer distractions while something evil and vile is going on behind the scenes.

    I wonder which “civil liberties” they’re trying to take away this time?

    [spins a Wheel of Fortune where all of the slots have the names of Constitutional Amendments or Articles on them]

    Looks like it’s landing on 2A again.

    Couldn’t have imagined it.

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    1. Why haven’t they started to talk about taking away our knives too, after the Idaho mass murder? They always act like guns are the only available murder weapon and if we can just get rid of them it will all be fine.

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    2. Heh. One of my ancestors took fort Ticonderoga with Ethan Allen. But reading up on the incident, it wasn’t nearly as glorious as advertised. The fort basically just up and surrendered, like “OK, fine, you can have it, no need to resort to violence…”

      2A really bothers these people. I wonder if the grandpas were chatting online with any retired feds.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Both Asian too, which is not a common demographic. Maybe a woman will do the next one?

    But really, this is just ridiculous now. Something in the fabric of society is breaking for these things to be occurring so frequently.

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