Klara and her cousin, a boy her age, created a game that feeds both her need to take care of small, helpless creatures and his need to go to battle against ferocious enemies.
In the game, he’s an abandoned baby tiger that she brings home and nurtures. He grows into a huge, strong tiger and rips apart the enemies who threaten her.
Nobody suggested the game to them. They wanted to play, discovered that their needs were very different, and found a way to accommodate both. Adults should learn from kids how to do this elegantly and easily.
5 thoughts on “Reconciling Sex-based Differences”
This is a very sweet story but to say that this game reveals sex-based/biological differences is the same logic that propels the trans narrative. Klara and her cousin were responding to individual preferences and social/familial modeling more than biological drives. Lots of little girls like more aggressive games and lots of little boys like playing at parenthood. For instance, my good friend’s little girl went through a phase where she was obsessed with cheetahs. Every game she would pretend to be a cheetah. Sometimes she was a sweet cheetah and sometimes a ferocious cheetah. She had no interest in baby dolls or in mothering type games. Does this mean she wasn’t a girl? Of course not. But, according to your rhetoric, she would be acting somehow “boy-like” when she played her fierce cheetah games– which mirrors trans logic. Who knows? With a different family, my friend’s little girl might have been told that she is “really” a boy because she ignored her baby dolls. The trans narrative absolutely relies on ascribing myriad social behaviors to unassailable sexual difference. I think that those of us who oppose the concept of trans children should be wary be of recapitulating that logic when discussing children’s imaginative play.
Trans maniacs will keep chopping off limbs entirely irrespective of what we say or do. Theirs is a closed-circuit mentality that accepts no feedback.
The problem lies not with the observation of reality but with the reaction to it. It is absolutely a fact that most little boys play aggressive games while most little girls don’t. Most little girls develop speech sooner while most little boys are more physically daring. Yes, there are outliers. But the problem isn’t with stating the broad trends and the outliers. The problem is that some people think the solution to the outliers is medication and surgery.
To use the analogy with homosexuality that the trans crowd really likes, it is an undeniable fact of reality that the overwhelming majority of people are sexually attracted to the opposite sex. But a small minority isn’t. Does that mean that gay people should be medicated or surgically altered in hopes of making them hetero? Obviously, not. The broad social consensus to which I actively subscribe is that gay people should be left in peace to be as they are. The same should work for people who are outliers in terms of sex-based behaviors. We should be able to say that this behavior is an outlier but that’s ok. No action should be taken, no medication should be administered, and no surgery conducted.
By the way, I also didn’t believe in sex-based differences until I had a kid and started spending a lot of time with small children, in parks, playgrounds and activities. Then I started noticing things that went completely against my dearly held feminist beliefs. I decided not to deny reality in service of the beliefs. And I won’t relinquish that because lunatics are doing crazy stuff.
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By the way, when during my pregnancy I tried to discuss with my analyst how to protect my child from sex-based stereotypes, he got visibly angry and said “As a mother, you’ll have to stick your beliefs up where the sun don’t shine and do what’s best for the child. And what’s best for small children is to exist in a reality where there are two clearly delineated sex roles because that’s where a child’s psyche finds balance and comfort. So get over yourself and prepare to raise a boy as a very stereotypical boy and a girl as a very stereotypical girl.” The analyst was mega liberal politically, by the way.
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” I also didn’t believe in sex-based differences”
I remember those days and the reaction I got to my usual line, which is that I don’t believe in metaphysical absolute differences, but I do believe in distributional differences. This means more men than women will be interested in STEM type careers, especially those that require solitude while more women will be interested in careers that involve working with people. Of course there are lots of exceptions and outliers and they deserve support but they will remain outliers and exceptions.
When Klara was much younger, I decided to defy stereotypes and bought her a light-up sword. She immediately drew a face on it, gave it a name, wrapped it in a blanket and started rocking it to sleep. That’s when I decided to get over myself and accept the evidence.