Friends, department Chairs and their spouses are invited to an evening reception at the Dean’s house. Is it customary to bring a gift in such situations? What should one bring if so?
I don’t want to be the only person either with or without a gift. I have provided myself with a defense from unwanted socialization in the form of N who I will talk to exclusively. But what is the proper procedure gift-wise?
I wouldn’t take anything. That sounds like a business occasion disguised as social event, rather than a gathering of friends. In such an instance, it is the Dean’s job to feed and entertain all the chairs/spouses, rather than the responsibility of guests to bring gifts. The gathering is a way for the Dean to get to know the chairs a bit better, in what s/he imagines will be a more relaxed setting. Do not relax. Be your professional self. In professional settings, gifts flow downwards, not upwards, and in any case should be small.
When LRU’s then-new president invited whole departments to “cocktail” gatherings at the president’s house, no one in my department took any sort of gift along, to my knowledge.
If you were personal friends with the dean and s/he said, “Hey, I’m having some people over for a cookout on Labor Day, a mix of old friends and some people from work, please join us,” then you should offer to bring something. If you were friends with the dean and s/he offered an invitation to a dinner party, take or send flowers. But both those scenarios are a totally different type of occasion.
Concur completely with Dame. – Bob
LikeLike
“Is it customary to bring a gift ”
For the dean, no.
I’m not sure about current etiquette but at one time if the dean was a man and if he was married and if it was at his personal residence with his wife acting as hostess then a small gift for her would be acceptable but not required.
Regardless if he is married it probably wouldn’t hurt to go out of your way to exchange a few pleasantries with his wife.
“He’s got a husband
Why didn’t you say so?!?
That makes things easier, some tasteful suggestions:
A tub of lube and a drilldo (with a big ribbon tied around…. you know)
or in a very different vein….
This book with a cheerful note “Read this and avoid hell!”
https://www.amazon.pl/Change-Affection-Incredible-Story-Redemption/dp/1400212308
It should be. Then again: https://www.almanac.com/flower-meanings-language-flowers
Yellow carnations and chamomile?
LikeLike
If the Dean has done this before then you should ask a Department Chair who has been to a previous event. If not, default to what most others said and bring something small, ideally something that would fit the occasion, like flowers or wine.
LikeLike
mid grade bottle of wine cant go wrong
LikeLike
A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
Leave a comment