The first time in my life I had a conversation in Ukrainian was in January. I read a lot in the language in my teens, and I went to the Ukrainian theater with my Dad after the independence but I never spoke because there wasn’t anybody to speak with. And since 1998 I haven’t read either. A couple of years ago, when I wanted to publish in a Ukrainian journal, I couldn’t even begin to write. I wrote my article in English, and my Dad translated it for me. Now I speak fluently and wrote a 400-page book in the language since April.
People see the shiny part – a book, an interest from the publisher, a plan for another book. Nobody sees the grind. Even N asked me yesterday how come my sister and I are from the same family but I’m a lot more Ukrainianized and speak so well. I speak because I taught myself this year. I worked like a dog on it and I keep working on it.
It’s like this in everything. People say, “you are lucky, you have such a calm child.” Lucky, yeah. My kid inherited all of my sensory difficulties because why wouldn’t she? They have run in the family for generations. I’m working like an indentured servant since her birth to make it easier for her to process the inevitable sensory overload. Also, it’s really weird to see me as fortunate in the child-bearing department but that’s another issue. I’ve even heard “you are lucky you could give birth at 40 with no complications”. Well, let me tell you about complications because complications and I spent many years in each other’s company.
Everything is a grind. I’m not complaining, I like the grind. But nothing just happens. You work like a dog and then work some more. That’s life.
Clarissa's Blog 
I learned to read music this way.
Now I’m in a weird spot where I’m starting to be asked to teach it, or occasionally lead. I have no idea how. Only in the last few years realized that the way we learn things… isn’t the way most people learn anything. So I’m fine when it comes to what I’ve learned, but when it comes to trying to impart it to anyone else, I’m stumped. Whole different universe, there.
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I’m so glad to see you not only get fluent in Ukrainean, but start publishing in it too! I remember you mentioning that the lost access to your mother tongue was a significant driver in you becoming a linguist and a translator. What is it like now, that you’re getting it back?
Also, would love to hear about how you made it easier for yourid to process sensory overload.
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Thank you! I’m still not fluent, so it’s a struggle. Sometimes I feel glimmers of joy but there’s a lot of work left for me to do.
As for sensory issues, there’s a lot of stuff. For example, when she has sensory overload, she reacts with anger. I have taught her to identify why she feels angry and instead of beating up the people who inflict the overload, leave, go be by herself, self-soothe, and recharge.
For self-soothing, I chose listening to books on tapes while drawing or doing things with air-dry clay as a compensatory mechanism. So now instead of “I get overloaded – I beat a friend over the head” it’s “I get overloaded – I listen to books and sculpt”.
I constantly calculate in my mind how much sensory stimulation there will be and when she’ll need quiet breaks. It’s like a parent of a diabetic kid who always calculates carb loads. Gradually, she learning to do it for herself.
It’s been at least a couple of years since she’s had a meltdown because I’m very vigilant plus she’s figuring out how to do it for herself. She actually tells me, “Can you please tell my cousin that I love him but I need to go to my room and be alone because I’m getting angry?”
The cousin is the exact opposite. He needs more stimulation than a regular kid, and his mother is working on her end to explain that if people don’t want to be hugging all the time, it doesn’t mean they don’t love him.
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My easily-overstimulated kid plants himself in a corner with his hands clamped over his ears 😦 It happens less often now, but I feel like a fail-parent when I don’t recognize it in time and head it off. I was just like that at his age. “Go read in your room for a while” is usually the winning strategy, but it’s still quite difficult to handle when we’re not at home, and don’t have the option of heading there immediately.
I have been wondering if a set of noise-cancelling headphones might help.
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