Sad Hamsters

In the Russia that Tucker Carlson loves so much, when a person comes down in the world and loses status, people say that he now fucks hamsters.

Tucker Carlson now fucks a lot of hamsters and does it in clumsy, sad ways. I decided to watch a recent segment of his show on immigration. Tucker used to be great on immigration. So I thought, well, maybe he still has something valuable to say about it.

That immigration segment was the saddest of hamsters. Tucker was trying to make a point that people are persecuted politically in the US for speaking out against immigration. To prove that point, he invited an utterly unknown wife of some utterly unknown guy who says she doesn’t speak out against immigration herself but her husband does. And now she’s experiencing persecution in the form of Facebook refusing to return a video of her baby’s first steps that doesn’t exist on any other medium.

This absolute genius of a woman takes a video of an important private moment, uploads it to Facebook, and then for a reason nobody will ever fathom deletes it from all other devices and media. Which is all extremely interesting but what the everloving hamster does it have to do with immigration?

One would think there’s no shortage of outrageous stories one could tell about immigration. Instead Tucker chose this hamster of a story that was simply boring and failed to make any point other than that it’s a good idea to backup your baby videos.

Did the poor dude have a neurological episode? Because he used to be exceptional, and now he’s just bumbling around with a bunch of sad hamsters.