Yes, welcome to Illinois. Knowing a bit of what goes on in Springfield, I have a nagging suspicion that somebody received a juicy state kickback to come up with this new and sensitive wording or rewrite the papers to include it.

Speaking of local food delivery, every time I tell people that I found a local dude who grows and sells high-quality mushrooms, they misunderstand me completely.

Campus protesters are coming out to protest this horror in 3…2…1… Yes, I know, they will very pointedly not notice.

You know what I intensely envy the British? Especially the British from the past?

Milk floats.

We are a family of inveterate milk-guzzlers. It would be phenomenal to have a little vehicle come by each morning to remove empty bottles and leave fresh ones. I don’t like drinking out of plastic bottles and I definitely don’t appreciate trudging to the grocery store for milk that is probably old every 3 days.

There are delightful descriptions of milk floats making deliveries in British literature and I always feel deprived when I read them.

True. I didn’t get a dime back from my security deposit the last time I rented. There was a roof leak that I had reported to the rental company for months. Nothing was done. And when I moved out, the security deposit was withheld in full to… pay for fixing the roof leak. Which I obviously hadn’t caused.

I didn’t pursue any legal remedy over it because, as the long-time readers know, I was experiencing a terrible personal situation and couldn’t find it in me to face additional unpleasantness.

In my extensive renting experience, you are much more likely to get your security deposit back when you rent from an individual and not a company. N, for instance, had to break his rental agreement when he lost his job and was almost deported. He was renting from a regular guy who understood completely, was very supportive, and returned the deposit which he didn’t even have to do.

After 17 years of elaborate home-cooked meals, I’m badgering N to reveal every culinary dream of his that hasn’t yet been fulfilled. Finally, he comes up with one.

Swedish-style, mashed-potato-stuffed meatballs with homemade tzatziki sauce.

I think this dish will turn out divinely.