What is it with this obsession over being made to laugh? If you are so desperate to laugh and can’t come up with anything by yourself, Google “joke” and you’ll be entertained until you can’t stand it any more.
Or maybe I’m too literal and this “making you laugh” isn’t about actual jokes. Maybe it comes from women who didn’t end up with the kind of guy they secretly desire and they are consoling themselves that their sixty-percenter is not that bad.
Honestly, I’d put the “makes me laugh” part at the very end of the list of desirable qualities. A “class clown” type of adult man would be quite annoying in daily life.
Clarissa's Blog 
“this obsession over being made to laugh”
It’s not meant to be taken literally, it’s code for “makes me feel relaxed and comfortable”
Most of the time most of the things people laugh at are objectively not funny, so when you see/hear ‘makes me laugh’ think “being around X makes me smile because I feel happy” and it’s a lot closer to the meaning.
Also, for some men, ‘makes me laugh’ means ‘laughs at my jokes’….
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My understanding is that rating people like this (she/he is a “ten”) typically refers purely to looks. In this context, “makes me laugh” is code for “has a personality”, which would make sense. Some men have good looks but very shitty personality. I’m not surprised this isn’t enough for most women.
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I always interpret it as “not boring as sawdust”.
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I would rate “I trust this person and we respect each other” a lot higher, but… yeah, having a personality and some intelligence (aka “makes me laugh”) is rightly ranked higher than good looks here.
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Ok, Clarissa, I take it that you’re the funny one in your marriage with N.
Does N laugh harder at your jokes compared to how funny they are (to you)? For example, do your light chuckle jokes get guffaws from him?
Don’t discount the effect that being depressed/widespread SSRI use has on women wanting a partner “who is a 6 but is always making you laugh” 😛
Besides being the straight man in the relationship requires a sense of humor.
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I understand this as “is a 10 on paper“, meaning according to numerous objective criteria that one can make a list of: level of education, salary, looks, etc. VS a man one feels mental closeness with / personal connection , even if his “paper list” is less impressive.
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Jerry Seinfeld makes me laugh but that never translated into any mental closeness.
I don’t understand how it’s possible to achieve mental closeness without physical intimacy. And how is there intimacy if the desire is so tepid? Close your eyes and think of comedy shows?
I don’t get it. If I don’t perceive a guy as extremely desirable, then I can’t be intimate with him. Then there’s no relationship.
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For as long as I can remember beautiful women have listed “sense of humor” as the #1 quality they look for in a man. I’d love to know why. When you look at their mates, they’re handsome, muscular beefcakes with no discernible personality.
Men are more honest. When you ask them what they’re looking for in a woman, they say, “Big boobs and a pretty face.” You may not like that but it’s true and there’s no need for women to study joke books.
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When one says honestly what one likes in a man, it never goes over well, so I guess that motivates the stories about the importance of humor.
Physical strength, a larger physical presence, wide shoulders, stability, a calm demeanor, bravery, risk taking – you kind of can’t say any of it because it’s very sex-specific, so we choose something anodyne and sexless like humor.
That’s my explanation.
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Strength… meh. My list was always: at least as smart as I am (otherwise I can’t talk to them!), completely honest, and after that… tall and lean are nice but negotiable. My husband is, in fact, all of those things 😉
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