The British Story of the Day

Roy Larner, the man who fought off machete-wielding terrorists on the London Bridge in 2017, was celebrated as the hero that he was by the British public.

The three terrorists killed 8 people and injured 38 more but Larner bravely rushed to stop them, getting wounded in the process.

But the British authorities didn’t appreciate Larner’s actions. They put him on a terror watchlist and forced him to attend de-radicalization classes in case his experience of being stabbed by Muslim terrorists made him have bad thoughts about them. We all know that bad thoughts about the government’s immigration policy are the true terrorism.

Later on, Larner was denounced as a racist and brought up on charges of saying something racist to protesters in his neighborhood.

As Larner rushed, barehanded, at armed terrorists, he yelled, “I’m Millwall!” This is the name of the soccer club he supports. It’s great he didn’t say “I’m Christian” or “I’m British” because then he’d be punished worse than the terrorists themselves. Supporting a sports team is still a tolerated form of community for people like Larner.

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