Freud is having a field day.
She gave him an expensive receptacle to wash gently by hand and take care in her absence. But instead, the treasured receptacle has deep gouges.
Of course, if the gouges in the actual receptacle were deep enough, she wouldn’t give a crap about what the pan looks like during the visit. That’s why the gouges on the pan awaken such unpleasant emotions.
In short, the dude needs to gouge more effectively. Maybe stop gouging in front of a screen and gouge more with the actual girlfriend. Until he takes care of her properly, she’ll nitpick about the kitchen utensils.
Clarissa's Blog 
Stopped clock is right twice a day:
https://abc7chicago.com/post/illinois-cellphone-ban-governor-jb-pritzker-pushes-proposal-cellphones-classrooms/15985315/
LikeLiked by 1 person
At least, we’ll get something useful out of him, so that’s good.
Thank you for the good news.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So what exactly is the problem with a few insignificant scratches on the bottom of a cooking pan (or pot, whatever)? They’re simply proof that the boyfriend actually USED the utensil, instead of simply sticking it in a cabinet and forgetting about it (which is what happens with a LOT of heartfelt, well-intended gifts). The girlfriend should be HAPPY about that!
Sometimes I feel guilty about retiring so young from my psychiatric practice, when the world is so full of people who could use my help.
Dreidel
LikeLiked by 2 people
She went all that way to visit only to bitch about the pan. The relationship is doomed.
LikeLike
“She went all that way to visit only to bitch about the pan”
My guess is that she buys him things she knows he’ll break/misuse so she can have something to feel like a martyr about.
And she’s not getting…. “gouged” in a satisfying manner. I don’t care enough to try to figure out which came first, the unsatisfying ‘gouging’ or the martyr behavior but by now I think they’re in a feedback loop.
One of them needs to put the relationship out of their misery.
LikeLiked by 1 person
eh.
Is it even sexual?
Some people just don’t know how to give gifts: they only know how to throw emotional grappling-hooks and harpoons. When you give someone a gift, you have to let go of it. It doesn’t belong to you anymore. Whatever happens to it after that is no affair of yours– particularly if you actually love the person you gave it to. IF you obsess over how someone treats the gift you gave them, it was never a gift. It was a control lever. What if they didn’t need it, and it takes up too much space, and they donate it to a thrift store, or give it to someone else who did need it? Do you feel hurt? Or do you re-jigger your gifting process so that you consult them first in the future? Or are you just happy that something ill-considered that you gave them didn’t become a dreadful guilt-laden shackle: a thing they didn’t really want, but feel obligated to keep because you gave it to them?
This was such a fraught thing in my childhood, that now when I give anything to anybody, I basically ask them ahead of time, to just get rid of it as quickly as possible if it isn’t useful to them. I dread saddling people with weird emotional obligations, as well as physical objects they may not have space or use for.
That is, of course, also not the most mentally healthy take. But we are all products of our upbringing 😉
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yep. The gift is about her or about who she wishes he was.
It would cause me no hardship to spend $200 on a gift, but I can’t imagine buying anyone a $200 pan unless I knew that the person enjoyed having nice cookware. And the kind of people who enjoy having nice cookware are 99.9% of the time the kind of people who know how to take care of nice cookware. The fact that she had to tell him repeatedly how to take care of it is a clear indication that it was not the right gift for him.
LikeLiked by 2 people
If one’s decided to spend a certain amount of money on someone else the best choice is to just simply GIVE that other person the money itself and let THEM decide what they want to do with it.
I’m not one for giving or receiving gifts myself.
LikeLike