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Real Help

In many traditional cultures it is taught that a new mother should never be left alone with her babies. She needs the co-regulation of wise women/people. She needs grounded humans who feed her, make sure she is hydrated, clean her sink, brew her tea, ladle her soup, and play with her other children. Someone to sit with her, share stories, and make her laugh. Help her remember she is human.

https://x.com/i/status/2083226114751660411

What a moronic expression “traditional cultures” is. A primitive or a pre-industrial society is not any more traditional than ours.

In any case, when I read this description of “grounded humans” hovering around incessantly and pouring soup into my mouth, I start having a panic attack. I’ll be tortured in hell by “wise women co-regulating” me.

The description above is a recipe for driving somebody like me into postpartum psychosis. In the precious moments when the baby is asleep and I can finally have some peace, I have to listen to these women’s utterly inane stories. I know I have sinned, but surely not that badly.

I’m not criticizing people who want this kind of thing. I’m only saying that we’re all very, very different.

“What can I do to help you with the baby?”

“Go away.”

6 responses to “Real Help”

  1. Demotrash Avatar
    1. Clarissa Avatar

      At this point, he can say, “Water is wet” and voters are going to hate him” which is a shame because, with all of Ramaswami’s faults, he’s never going to be one-tenth of one percent as bad as any Dem candidate.

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      1. Demotrash Avatar
        Demotrash

        “he’s never going to be one-tenth of one percent as bad as any Dem candidate” I struggle to believe this. I don’t even like Amy Acton but she’s no Francesca Hong. She was awful on COVID, but Vivek had an identical position on the issue, he just lies about it now. Ohio is definitely screwed for the next 4-8 years no matter who wins. Never thought I’d miss DeWine…

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        1. Clarissa Avatar

          Whatever Acton says now, she’ll be getting her orders directly from the DSA.

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          1. Demotrash Avatar
            Demotrash

            Well, we’ll likely find out for sure soon. Republicans have not lost a gubernatorial election here in decades but I think we’re about to break that streak. Ohio has not seen such a disastrous gubernatorial campaign since the days of Ed FitzGerald.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. methylethyl Avatar

    The whole family, community, and postpartum support thing does exist (in places not the US) and is pretty functional. Not sure it looks like that, rather than auntie watching the older kids, and various teenage nieces being dispatched for housekeeping duties. I don’t like people getting all up in my household business either, but I sure could’ve used some teenage nieces and whatnot to watch my kids and help with the dishes, when my last one was born. No gentle elder advice and constant supervision though. Was just hellishly anemic, herniated, and prolapsed and literally could not stand up for a whole ten minutes, for months. Things were pretty sketchy on the housekeeping front, and my bigger kids were being supervised mostly by their guardian angels. This is an underrated problem in the US: we are not allowed to admit needing postpartum help.

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