Clarissa's Blog

We are freaking out here because the great Norwegian writer Sigrid Undset looks so much like me that it’s scary:

I’ll now have to read her magnum opus Kristin Lavransdattir that I’ve had on my Kindle for a million years.

We needed a babysitter when Klara was between one year of age and about 20 months old. Before one, she’d just sleep through a restaurant visit or an outing or sit there quietly, observing all of the strange new phenomena around her.

Between one and almost two, though, it made no sense to take her to restaurants because nobody would get to eat or talk anyway. We’d just spend the entire time running after her around the restaurant, praying she wouldn’t bump into any waiters with plates of hot food. 

Now that she’s older, though, we really enjoy going to restaurants together because she eats adult food, feeds herself with a fork, and can participate in a conversation in a way that is interesting to all of us. Plus, she can now understand not only the more primitive “if you scream, we are going home” but even the more complex “if you scream, you will scare the babies.” 

I just noticed that we haven’t asked the babysitter to come since February because we never felt the need. This is a big milestone.

Russians are celebrating the victory in WWII today. Their favorite slogan today is “We Can Repeat”, meaning that they can repeat whatever they did during the war. Defeat their enemies, show everybody how great they are, whatevs.

Ukrainians are also celebrating. Curiously, their slogan is “Never Again.” The Ukrainian slogan dates back to a long time ago. The Russian slogan is very new. I think it was brought into use only in the last couple of years.

There is no doubt in my mind that no actual survivor of the war would support this new Russian slogan. But. . . who cares about such things any more?

Of course, the Russian Eurovision team is freaky because, as we all know, Russians are not in a good place and have gone collectively [even more] coo-coo. But it also seems like Eurovision in general has gone in the direction of freakishness. It doesn’t seem to be about the catchiest tune or the most representative artist from each country. It seems like it’s getting more and more in vogue to nominate the weirdest artists with the strangest numbers they can come up with.

I have enough of “whoever acts in the most outrageous way wins” in the US politics, and it would be nice not to see so much of it everywhere else.

Blankenship conceded. Fuck. I wanted him to win because that would really compromise the seat. Winning West Virginia would be very symbolic.

What the people in the photo want to do is . . .

. . . wait for it. . .

. . . mega drumroll . . .

. . . wait for it some more . . .

They want to win the Eurovision.

This is the Russian Eurovision team upon its arrival in Portugal for the contest. The lady in the wheelchair is the singer and the people around her are her team.

Can you guess who these folks are, where they are and what they are hoping to achieve?

Make sure you notice the picture on the middle-aged guy’s white T-shirt.

I don’t recommend waiting until you are in your dotage to have children. But life is complicated and sometimes you don’t get a choice. Those of us who had children at 39+ (I gave birth to my daughter at 39 years and 10 months of age) encounter obvious difficulties. But we also can offer great things to our kids that would be impossible for many of us earlier in life. Here are some that I discovered but feel free to share yours:

1. At my age, the source of judgment about my worth has moved from the outside to the inside. I see so many articles and posts by younger mommies who feel the need to defend their parenting decisions to the world. It’s such a relief simply to not care whether anybody thinks I’m a bad mother for not making a greater effort to breastfeed, for buying my kid her favorite tulip cookie at Panera, for not denying her the pacifier, for taking her to preschool in summer when I don’t teach or “do anything”, etc. I can’t be bothered to explain my choices because I’m way too old for that.

2. I don’t mind looking silly or ugly. I’m the most fun parent on the playground because I run, climb, sing in a really ridiculous pitch, lie on the ground and make funny sounds, etc because at my age nothing embarrasses me any longer.

3. My life is pretty much all figured out. My personal and professional lives are as stable as it gets.

3. I’ve had time to visit all bars, parties, adult restaurants, child-free resorts, theater performances, and movies that a person can possibly need. So I don’t feel deprived because I can’t do any of it any longer.

4. I’m financially comfortable enough so that I can, for instance, take my kid to Florida for 3 weeks and not notice the cost.

5. I’m very emotionally stable. I’ve been knocked about by life enough not to worry or stress out over anything that isn’t life-threatening.

6. I’ve had enough time to learn to be very organized. When I’m with my kid, I don’t need to do anything else because it’s all done. So I don’t feel rushed or stressed out.

But hey, if you are a younger mommy and don’t have any of these things, it doesn’t mean you are not a great mommy. You probably can give your kid a bunch of siblings and I can’t, and that’s a lot more important than trips to the beach or the knowledge of how to treat childhood ailments with natural remedies.

As psychoanalysts of childhood say, all you need to be a good mommy is to be. Not to be any special way, but just be there.

The best thing about the second season of the Norwegian series Okkupert is the lame protest that Norwegian activists organize. They have an app that tells them where to go and lie down. So they go and lie down. In complete silence. Completely alone. In communication with no one but the stupid app.

And then they get up and go away.

The show has very good writing because this is really spot on.