Our university’s president has announced that we need to absorb a for-profit or online college into our university system. 

We are truly blessed. 

“I am today starting the process of terminating the diversity lottery program,” he said. “I am going to ask Congress to immediately initiate work to get rid of this program.”

Why, why does it have to be Trump to take a stand against this abomination? It was created by Bush, for Pete’s sake. Bush! It should have been a Dem issue. Nobody likes the lottery. You can’t possibly lose by attacking it. It should have been named “the Bush lottery” and used to trounce Republicans.

This is what the Democrats should be talking about all day and every day:

The biggest political land mine for Republicans is their proposal to prohibit people from deducting their state-and-local taxes, or SALT, from their federal bill.

The idiotic Mueller scandal will not bring any votes. The people who follow it are all already eagerly voting Democrats. 

Voters clearly want populism and more of it. But the DNC is not listening. In Illinois, Democrats seem to be planning to run the corrupt and politically inexperienced billionaire Pritzker for governor. Because it’s so smart to have two dumb rich assholes fighting it out in the election. Folks, you know how I feel about Rauner. But my level of enthusiasm for Pritzker is lower than zero. I was going to go out and knock on doors for any half-decent candidate. But I’m not doing anything for some dumbass billionaire.

Putin announced that the US are gathering genetic material from people all over Russia. “We all know why they are so deeply interested in us,” he said meaningfully but refused to elaborate any further. 

The best way to get rid of Putin would be to reveal to him how truly uninterested Americans are in Russia. The poor jilted fellow would off himself immediately.

And as a very special treat, here is a picture of the scariest bunny in our neighborhood who slaughtered everybody with her cuteness:

Her favorite Halloween treat was a lamb samosa. I never thought she’d want a very spicy samosa but she literally tore it out of my mouth and devoured more than a half. 

For now, the Basque expressions I remember best are of the seriously pro-ETA bent because I encounter them most often in literature. I’m afraid when I meet actual speakers I will blurt out something in the vein of “etarra, etarra, gora ETA militarra”, and that will be very uncomfortable for everyone.

This reminds me of this Jewish fellow who traveled to the Netherlands and entered a business meeting with “Arbeit macht frei” as an ice-breaker. The Dutch businessmen did not appreciate the humor. 

Has anybody seen anywhere an explanation of why Saipov – an uneducated, unqualified, radicalized fellow who clearly had nothing of particular value to contribute – was able to get a green card? This is not a rhetorical question. It bothers me because in 2010, when this hugely valuable terrorist came legally to the US, N was unemployed. Because he, apparently, was not as good as this Saipov jerk to get a green card. What is the immigration category Saipov fell under?

My best student, an incredibly bright and hard-working young woman, is undocumented with no hope in hell of getting a green card. Yet Saipov was welcomed with open arms. This student I’m talking about could easily be at Harvard and kicking ass there she’s that good. But she’s not wanted. 

I don’t know how this is supposed not to make one angry. 

It’s not true, right? It’s got to be fake, right?

EXCLUSIVE: DNC Official Says She Doesn’t Want To Recruit ‘Cisgender Straight White Males’

They don’t want more individuals in the “majority” having jobs within the party …

I know this is a party of people who love losing but surely, not to this extent.

I don’t want to believe idiots who could have penned the linked email could exist anywhere in humanity, let alone in the party leadership. Of course, you’ve got to be dumb as ass to use the expression “a well-oiled machine” outside of a comedy club.

As they say, no hay mal que por bien no venga. The famous stylist I had retired but the young guy I have as my new stylist makes me happier. He’s fast, quiet, not in the least chatty, and doesn’t make a drama out of my “extremely complicated” hair. 

On a similar note, I’m feeling very bored and underchallenged in my job. Post-tenure blues are still here with a vengeance. To get out of the rut, I started learning Basque. And one day I will read Saizarbitoria in his native language. It’s a much easier dream to entertain than ever having a chance to teach him in translation. Because that is completely out of my control, and we all know how much I detest not being in control. 

In terms that everybody will finally be able to understand, the Ukrainian Revolution of 2013 happened because Ukrainians were fed up with the president whose campaign had been organized by Paul Manafort. 

And if everybody just listened to what Ukrainians were saying back then, we wouldn’t have to deal with Manafort’s next candidate now. 

Obviously, Manafort is a dumb pawn. He’s a symptom and not the disease. But it’s a symptom that should have been noticed earlier. The name of the actual disease is:

An international conspiracy of oligarchs to use the popular resentment generated by the globalization for further enrichment.