OMG, OMG, OMG. 

I DON’T HAVE DIABETES, I DON’T HAVE DIABETES, I DON’T HAVE

I could finally get tested, and contrary to every expectation, my (very severe, second-time) gestational diabetes did not translate into permanent diabetes. You have no idea, people, how bad this gestational diabetes was. I was on sky-high doses of insulin, and it wasn’t even working. It’s a miracle that I’m back to normal after all that.

When I was placed on insulin, I was given a card to carry in my wallet. It said, 

If I act erratically, that’s not because I’m drunk. It’s because I’m a diabetic. Please give me some candy.

The candy, of course, is a way to prevent a hypoglycemic coma. It’s a very powerful feeling to be able to remove the card from the wallet, finally.

P.S. I was going to post the good news on Facebook but then changed my mind because the information feels too private for Facebook. 

After the Jewish and the Christian doctors disappointed me, I found one with a name like Al-Khatoumi, hoping she’ll turn out to be a Muslim. Every horizontal surface in this doctor’s waiting room is covered with Bibles, but that’s fine, maybe she’s hypercompensating. What is not fine is that a typed up notice on the reception window says, “Please be courteous of other patient’s privacy by signing in and being seated.”

No matter what, I’m exhausted with these doctor searches and will be staying with this one for now.

And now I finally read this article on Trump and women that everybody is talking about. What a ridiculous, pathetic piece of tabloid garbage this article is. There is nothing in it but a collection of entirely anodyne, boring anecdotes that have zero meaning whatsoever. Gosh, one could easily find much juicier stories about me, if they wanted to. Ooooh, he told somebody she must love candy, what a horrible insult! Let’s all clutch our pearls on cue. What rot!

If anything, this article will attract people to Trump because the only conclusion one can draw is that if this is the extent of Trump’s “sexism”, then what are we all even talking about?

Are people not noticing how stupid this all is? They are trying to discredit Trump by revealing that back in 1990 he asked somebody to wear a swimsuit by the poolside. That evildoer.

I’ve been off the election news feed for a couple of days, and now I turn on the TV and what do I see? Groups of unhinged freaks booing Barbara Boxer, more groups of freaks freakishly freaking out in Nevada or wherever, screaming “Freedom!!” of all things. I was sure these were Trumpazoids but then I heard these were actually Democrats.

Well, here goes the feeling of superiority attached to believing we are the party of reason and calmness. We have demonstrated we can be as violent and stupid as the next fellow. Yay for us.

What a disgrace.

And what did the freaks have against Barbara Boxer? I thought everybody adored her.

A promo sheet for a very expensive house nearby states that it has a backyard that “has recently been landscaped with.” The phrase is probably a hybrid of “landscaped” and “messed with.”

And these are the people who keep turning their noses at my accent in English.

Here is another new expression that makes me stop reading or listening: “a biological woman / man.” Given that “man” and “woman” are biological categories, the expression makes as much sense as “buttery butter.”

I’m all for word creation but it has be meaningful and not stupid.

I have realized that I need to stop reading mystery novels because I don’t enjoy them any longer. Maybe I grew out of the genre or something. It’s so sad because I’ve been a great fan of mystery for 26 years, since I read Agatha Christie’s phenomenal The Murder of Roger Ackroyd.

Am I doomed to only reading serious literature now? Nothing trashy? That is so sad.

And now Russians are all like, “And how will a poor country like Ukraine be able to afford to host Eurovision, huh?”

Of course, if they truly believed  that Ukraine’s Eurovision win was organized by the CIA, it stands to reason that the CIA will find a way to pay for it.

What are the phrases which allow you to stop reading, safe in the knowledge that you won’t learn anything? My classic examples are “bankster” and “feminazi,” which were great when they were current because they normally appeared so quickly in any given argument. But they’re both a little dated now, so while they’re still accurate, their base rates are too low to be really useful.

Yes, for me ‘banksters’ and ‘feminazi’ are also clues to stop reading. Other clues are, of course, ‘privilege,’ ‘social justice warriors,’ ‘basic income,’ ‘unborn babies,’ ‘CIA-sponsored coup’, ‘fat shaming,’ ‘sex workers,’ and ‘she voted for the Iraq war.’ These expressions indicate that the author is not a bright person and there’s no need to waste my time on whatever silliness s/he produced.

In more general terms, I quit reading after the third passive voice construction in a single paragraph because the probability that the author will name the source of all these actions drops to statistically negligent. Overwrought, apocalyptic tone, as well as infantile affectations and clichés (“this is why we can’t have nice things” or “just give people free money”) are a clue to stop reading and move on.

What are your cues that you need to quit reading a piece and go do something more rewarding with your life?

A very important post about abuse. I wish as many people as possible read it and gave themselves permission to grieve the abuse they experienced.

The Nordic gender equality paradox.

Top ten reasons not to vote for Trump. For me, number 10 is enough but the rest are good, too.

The obscenely wealthy descend on Cuba because it’s currently trending as a delicious slumming spot.

It’s not manufacturing Americans miss, it’s unions.

I’d love a Kindle Oasis but that’s too crazy an indulgence.

Let’s do justice to allegory.

Trump’s shenanigans in Russia.