While I’m out of commission and on my way to the ER, please enjoy the most ridiculous article I have read all week. The gist of the article is that while posting photos of yourself online (selfies) is empowering and feminist, posting photos of your bookshelves (bookshelfies) is elitist and wrong.

I like taking selfies and posting them on this blog, but I don’t do that to feel “empowered” (I don’t even really know what “empowering” is supposed to mean.) I do it because it’s fun and my readers seem to like being able to put a face to a bunch of endless rants. I also don’t get what’s so elitist about having books. According to the linked article:

Owning large quantities of books, being familiar with them, frequently referring to them, working in an industry where books are valued, these are all markers of upper middle class status, reflecting education, purchasing power, and social privilege.

The statement is too ridiculous and offensive for me to analyze in detail, especially now that I’m not feeling well. But I knew my readers would enjoy this completely idiotic piece and would have fun with it.

You can also find two interesting responses to the linked piece here.

One more step has been traveled in the direction of my Americanization: I just ate the very first PB&J sandwich in my life.

Of course, I’m still me, so the peanut butter was organic, the jelly was rose petal preserve, and the bread was Lithuanian from the Global Foods store.

At this rate, I will be fully Americanized in no time.

Reader valter07 made a brilliant comment about Russia:

Believing in sanctions involves unjustified projecting of Western mindset onto Russians. Those who believe in sanctions essentially are saying that West would surrender if such sanctions were applied to the West. It is testimony to West’s unwillingness to tolerate any discomfort in the name of its principles. It is more productive to think of Russia as analog of some fundamentalist country or organization – i.e. a bunch of people prepared for significant degree of self-sacrifice.

This reader is absolutely right. People used to listing trigger warnings and counting “microaggressions” are not likely to win this game.  I’d say that the complete incapacity to tolerate any sort of discomfort has become the organizing principle of the West. And I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing. However, it is a mistake to project this mindset onto others.

As many people have already guessed (or Googled), the identity I discovered was that of an entrepreneur. This was, of course, very unexpected because I always thought I was the opposite of an entrepreneur.

What I liked the most about these articles for entrepreneurs is that they transmitted a feeling of an unapologetic excitement about the work people do. I’m so tired of the environment where depression is the norm and happiness is suspect that it’s extremely refreshing to see that there are people who discuss what they do without needing to apologize, whine, and moan.

This description of an entrepreneur describes me a hundred times better than any description of an academic I ever read.

And these suggestions on how to build a team are exactly the way I’ve been developing this blog.

This strategy is precisely what I do to prepare myself to do some good writing whenever I feel blocked or out of ideas.

And the most refreshing thing about this new-found identity is that it is not based on the incessant use of the passive voice. There is an agent, and that agent is, more often than not, I. My blogroll is spilling over with posts whose organizing idea is “I was told something not very pleasing, and this is such a disaster that I will stop living my life this very moment,” and that is very boring.

Plus, on these blogs for entrepreneurs there are no discussions of “privilege” and no competitions in the degree of ideological purity.

I was in a great mood all day yesterday. This is the same kind of feeling I experienced when I discovered the word “autism.” It’s a very good feeling to discover that you are not a weirdo, and there are people who see the world in a way similar to yours.

So here is what I decided. I will happily assume my new-found identity and will be an entrepreneur without a business.

OK, so I dragged myself to bed, put on a new Vera Wang nightgown, aloe socks, a facial mask, turned on the stupidest TV show I can think of, placed some watermelon slices by my side, lit a lemon candle, and now I will rest.

And I’ll make every effort to avoid Googling news from Kramatorsk where Ukrainian troops finally beat back Russian terrorists, but I’m taking a break from all that.

If this doesn’t work, nothing will.

Russians and Ukrainians are too different, my friends.

“Your socks are mismatched,” N just commented.

“Mismatched?” I bellowed. “Have some respect for the noble colors of the Ukrainian flag!!!”

“But what’s the point,” he persisted, “if nobody sees them anyway?”

“I know I have them on,” I explained. “And that’s enough.”

I have to confess that I’m failing this week’s challenge miserably, people. April is insane for academics, and all I do is prepare final exams, finish my article, and read my news feed obsessively for news about Ukraine.

I don’t even have anything planned for my birthday on Friday, except for yet another departmental meeting.

This sucks, I suck, I’m underachieving in the relaxation department. I need to force myself to relax and take it easy! I said, relax and take it easy, stupid Clarissa! And go do some self-love now!

And here is one more very cute example of projection:

Suppose the pay gap between men and women were magically eliminated. If that happened, simple arithmetic suggests that half of women would be unable to find what they regard as a suitable mate.

Obviously, I’m not saying women won’t date or marry a lower-earning men, only that they probably prefer not to. If a higher-earning man is not available, many women are more likely not to marry at all.

I really love it when people betray themselves and confess their darkest secrets as a result of projection. The poor lady practically screams, “I won’t have sex unless I get paid!” It’s too funny for words.

The identity riddle is proving to be very hard, so I have a hint. Here is an excerpt from the article “What You Need to Know About People from Group X” that made me exclaim, “But this is ME!”

But no Googling because that’s cheating:

The voice in their heads is louder than every other voice they hear. Others may doubt. Others may criticize. Others may judge and disparage and disapprove.

You don’t care. You see all those opinions for what they are: not right, not wrong, just data. So you sift through that data for the actual nuggets you can use. The rest you ignore.

Why? You may respect the opinions of others but you believe in your ideas, your abilities, your will and perseverance and dedication. You believe in yourself. And that makes you want to live your life your way and not anyone else’s way.

That’s totally me, folks. I decided that I needed to uproot my whole family and move across the ocean because I just needed to do a PhD in a field I knew nothing about. So I did. This is a description of a fanatic, and that’s what I am, a fanatic.

Another article from the same blog advises people to “actively seek out conflict” and engage in aggressive verbal fights with others to promote their own original thinking.

So you know how I always say I hate identities and communities because I’m so different and unusual and just don’t fit in anywhere, right?

I just discovered that I’m not in any way special or unusual. I was simply looking for a community in all the wrong places. It turns out that there is a large community with blogs, magazines, books and a subculture of its own that thinks as I do, organizes reality in a way very similar to mine, and finds answers to the questions that interest me. What I can’t find among academics or the feminist community, this group has in spades.

I found this community as I was lying in bed last night, battling a fresh round of insomnia. Before you imagine anything exciting, I was scrolling down my news feed when I saw an article from a blog I’d just added on a lark. It was titled something like “What You Need to Know About Members of Group X.” The description of said group fitted me perfectly. As I kept reading articles published by this group I discovered that they offered really useful advice to assist me in teaching, research, workplace politics, and even in my interactions outside of work.

It’s a very interesting new experience for me to realize that I’m not in the least unique and there is a crowd of people just like me. That community is where I should have gone to find kindred spirits and get advice on how to be the best academic I can be.

So the riddle is: what is this exciting community I discovered?