
OK, I apologize. I’m in physical pain and I don’t do painkillers, so I’m irritable.

The way this works now is this. People show up at the border by the hundred thousands. They do it because there’s no alternative. They can’t apply from their homes and without disrupting their lives. That option doesn’t exist for almost anybody. Did you know that? Did you know that our system is set up to force people who want to immigrate to quit their jobs, sell their property, leave their children (or take them on a very perilous journey)? We actually engineer the situation with those detention camps, etc because we have not created an alternative. We spill crocodile’s tears about it when this could be solved tomorrow with great ease. This makes me so angry. When I emigrated to Canada, nobody forced me to schlep across continents and sit in a detention camp for weeks. The process was long, yes, but while it took place, I was living in my home, making money at my job, and not being molested and exploited by human traffickers. This is what I want for migrants into America. And for wanting that, I’m routinely excoriated as an immigrant hater. It’s extraordinary.
OK, moving on. Currently, migrants arrive at the border. There are so many of them that nobody can do anything beyond shipping them around the country and assigning them a court date sometime in the distant future that they are supposed to attend and start the process of demonstrating that they are eligible for immigration. Most of them never show up for that court date. Many don’t even understand what it means because they don’t speak the language in which they are informed about the court date.
Now please reread the preceding paragraph and tell me when exactly the vetting of these migrants for criminal antecedents is supposed to happen. How do we find out that a migrant is a Colombian Ted Bundy or a Guatemalan MS-13 gangster? Exactly, we don’t. In the process that I propose (and which has existed in other countries for decades), the vetting of criminal records happens while the applicant lives at home. This means that he has zero opportunities to commit crimes in the country where he wants to emigrate. Doesn’t it make sense to find out if one is a criminal before letting them in?
There are no wars going on in Central America right now. There are no totalitarian regimes. The crime rates have been dropping dramatically. There’s literally nothing going on that necessitates the removal of over a million people a year from their countries and their urgent transportation to the US. So why are we dragging these people over by the million so that they can sleep on the floor of Logan Airport, etc when they could be sleeping in their beds at home? My only explanation is that watching these spectacles of abjection makes us feel good.


