Clarissa's Blog

If people insist that it’s crucial for kids to be on their tablets in very confined public spaces, they could at least teach them to use headphones on the devices. I have 30 minutes to catch my breath in the waiting room of Klara’s dance lesson but it’s infernally loud because of these nasty devices. Plus, it’s very stinky because there’s another heat wave.

I saw him around the punch, I won’t say bowls, or the punch containers . . . I don’t know what he did, but I saw him by them.

That evildoer! He stood next to a punch bowl! Well, we just can’t have it. Good kids all stand next to book carrels at the library and not next to punch bowls at a party.

Take an ACE test to determine how childhood trauma impacted your heart health.

For those who have no idea how this works, here is a good explanation but skip the first 5 paragraphs because they are useless and gushy. It gets a lot better after that, I promise. On a side note, this is what I’m saying about female self-infantilization being in vogue. It’s as if there were a compulsion to present oneself as a total ditz before saying anything of value.

Before having kids:

“Great vacation! We climbed a mountain, went on a crazy Jeep ride through a forest, snorkeled, and parasailed. It was the best!”

After having kids:

“Great vacation! We slept. Then watched a bit of TV. Then slept. Then did absolutely nothing whatsoever. It was glorious!”

P.S. This is not about me. It’s about somebody I know, khm khm. I was always proudly style 2.

Believe women! Unless they are doing their jobs as qualified professionals. In that case, ridicule and snark on them.

This is normally a chatty, superficial fashion blog. But fashions change, and this is what’s trending right now.

And that’s how Bernie Sanders lost any chance for my vote. I can forget silly little airheads at Atelier Dore (see above) for being fashion-conscious but he should be above these cheap tricks.

This list of “the best books of the 21st century” sucks ass like few things. And that’s because the compilers are looking in the wrong places. Or, rather, wrong language.

Castrate their corpses and feed them to swine, suggests a paragon of tolerance and progressivism.

My Facebook feed is filled with erotic fantasies about Kavanaugh, and this is a perfect gift for the particularly hot and bothered Kavanaughmaniacs.

Yes, I know, it’s all crazy. I wanted to find something better but it’s not the week for that.

Re: the preceding post, I know what the solution is. Don’t date, don’t have premarital sex. Let your family arrange a meeting with a suitable partner, do a short supervised courtship with zero physical contact and zero alone time, and then get married.

Hmm, wait, where did I hear this before? Oh, I know, it’s the traditional evangelical courtship of the most patriarchal kind. Brought to you courtesy of Jezebel.com.

Folks, this is hilarious. I highly recommend.

Told you so, told you so, I told you told you told you so.

In the ultra-liberal Quebec, the party that’s about to win the election is the one that is promising to reduce immigration by 20%.

Folks, the Panda Planner is on sale today. It’s 45% off on Amazon. But only today!

I don’t get anything for promoting it. I simply want to spread the joy to fellow productivity fanatics.

Why does everybody hate people who are too nice?

I don’t agree with the explanation provided in this article. I dislike the too-nice, always cheerful, see-the-good-side-in-everybody folks because they are boring.

There was once this person who, at a first glance, seemed super nice. But then we hung out together and she was making really funny, harsh, incisive comments about everything. And I was, “God, I love you, you are a fascinating person! You are my best friend from now on and forever!”

It’s not about completion for me. It’s about not wanting to be bored by spending time with eternal-sunshine idiots. I like smart, sarcastic people. Also, the nicey-nice folks seem fake. Everybody has an agenda. Just tell me what yours is and don’t pretend to care about nothing but the fate of humanity.