Are Good Men Scarce?

~ Clarissa

I have just encountered yet another in a long series of articles that bemoan the scarcity of good men in our society:

The fewer genuinely good men there are, the greater the bargaining power they have in relationship — and the more concessions women (at least those who are eager for marriage) are told they must make. Since so many successful women want to draw from the ever-shrinking pool of genuinely attractive and functional dudes, rivalry (or so we’re reminded) must be inevitable.

Initially it seems like the author of the article (in spite of the completely baseless suggestion that eagerness for marriage is all on women’s side when we’ve known for almost 30 years that it’s actually the opposite) wants to subvert the myth of male scarcity. However, it soon becomes obvious that he is eager to contribute to the myth that good men are hard to find:

A society that coddles young men by allowing them to remain emotionally obtuse adolescents for a quarter century (and that admits them to college with lower grades than their sisters’) makes mature, responsible men scarce.

And then I scrolled to the end of the article and realized that the author of this most recent contribution to the “there aren’t enough good men available for all the good women” is, of course, none other than Hugo Schwyzer. The same passionate feminist who keeps warning women that if we are too fat or too old (over 35, that is) the bad, horrible men will necessarily reject us. I start to get a feeling that Hugo Schwyzer needs to promote the idea that good men are scarce to draw attention to his own exceptional goodness.

The myth of male scarcity is always part of an anti-feminist backlash. In the Soviet Union, where women reached the heights that their American sisters couldn’t even begin to imagine in the period from the 1920ies until the 1970ies, the same boring story of how women pined in loneliness because there were no men around surfaced in the decade of the seventies. Mind you, this myth did not arise in the aftermath of World War II when men were genuinely not there as a result of the huge losses of life during the war. This myth appeared after the demographic imbalance of the post-war era had been corrected in the following generation.

Of course, the belief that it’s hard to find a good man among the overwhelming majority of immature losers is as baseless in the US as it was in the Soviet Union. Women’s rights are being slowly eroded in this country. Just look at the war on birth control if you need proof. However, an oppressive system needs to offer women a reward for taking away their opportunities in the public sphere. The myth of male scarcity is one of such rewards.

This might sound paradoxical to you at first but just think about it. If a woman is not successful in her personal life, she doesn’t need to look to herself for reasons why this happens. It’s the fault of those bad, immature men. And how enjoyable is it to get together with one’s girl-friends and make fun of the immaturity and the uselessness of men in our lives! I played this unhealthy game for years and let me tell you, it rocks. Who cares if men find it easier to succeed financially and professionally if one can just dismiss all that by ridiculing their imaginary incompetence in the private sphere?

In reality, there is no shortage of good men or good women. Jerks of both genders equal themselves out. What is really scarce, though, is insightful feminist analysis that avoids reiterating tired anti-feminist stereotypes about both women and men.

Published by Clarissa

32 thoughts on “Are Good Men Scarce?”

  1. I do not understand how Hugo Schwyzer became accepted into the feminist mainstream. He brings a unique brand of misandry that is usually reserved for the “rad-fems”.

    I think it’s because he pretends to be magnanimous. Amanda Marcotte may cuss a lot, but once you get past her name calling and hyperbole she has a reasonable point. Hugo Schwyzer, on the other hand, wraps a message of hate in an apologetic tone. He’ll frequently accuse all men of the world of being evil, then make some token swipes at himself so he doesn’t appear arrogant.

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    3. I do not understand how Hugo Schwyzer became accepted into the feminist mainstream. He brings a unique brand of misandry that is usually reserved for the “rad-fems”.
      It’s quite simple. His brand of underhanded misandry stokes a flame that a lot of feminists simply don’t want to admit exists. He is able to take cheap shots at men under the guise of being pro-woman (and mind you these are some of the same people who say that pro woman does not equal anti male). its gives the feminists that accept him a way to get their rocks off on his anti male sentiments while at the same time reaching for his pro woman sentiments the moment someone calls him on it.

      My problem isn’t so much HS himself but rather the feminists that so readily accept him without even stopping to think about his messages. He gets the stamp of approval because he spins a enough (but not too much) anti-maleness into his pro-woman stances. Same goes for AM. I can get past the cussing, my problem is how she basically gets a free pass on generalizing hatred from other feminists who would scream the bloodiest of murder if made about them.

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      1. I don’t read AM because she is even wordier than I am. 🙂 I tried a couple of times but everything is too predictable and boring.

        I agree that there is a lot of real anti-male hatred in HS. But the stuff he says about women is also very very offensive. he is beyond condescending towards women and I have no idea why so many feminists put up with that.

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  2. “I start to get a feeling that Hugo Schwyzer needs to promote the idea that good men are scarce to draw attention to his own exceptional goodness.”

    Isn’t that just all guys who claim that there are no good men left?

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  3. Hugo Schwyzer reminds me of the alcoholic who quits drinking when he discovers Jesus and AlAnon. From then on he harasses everyone he meets with a message of sobriety. Every time you take a drink, he goes rambling on about how alcohol destroyed his family and how even one beer can ruin your life. He’s no fun at parties, because he keeps hijacking the conversation to talk about why alcohol is of the devil and everyone should pledge to lifetime sobriety.

    I’m glad Hugo turned his life around. I’m glad he started respecting women. But I don’t need him lecturing me on how to live my life.

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  4. But to the point. The only people that think good men/women/whatever group you’re looking from a romantic partner are the ones that want to believe that their lack of romantic success has absolutely nothing to do with them. If you don’t believe me I challenge you to ask the folks at Jezebel where the good women are…

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  5. Hugo Schwyzer is the ultimate PUA. A postmodern patriarch so full of tricks and lies that his flock of sheep don’t even realize they’re in a harem. Hi might have even managed to convince himself that he isn’t picking up women.

    Really, today’s HS is the consequence of the following thought process:

    1) I gotta get p****
    2) but getting p**** the old fashioned way can get me into trouble with society which could jeopardize 1)
    3) find a way to get p**** without anybody realizing I’m after p****
    4) pretend to be a feminist standing up for women and attacking others who want p****
    5) This attracts all those who love being protected and pitied – in other words patriarchs in denial who just happen to be the ones most likely to supply me with p****
    Now I can get p**** whilst looking like a good Samaritan, dissing the competition and, best of all, most of my p**** is young because more susceptible to my bs.

    But, like with all such cases, the people to ask are those who fall for it. But that won’t make them go away and so there will always be Hugo Schwyzers to capitalize on that. People have been known to give their credit card details to strangers calling them on the phone pretending to want to send them money.

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    1. Uh, uh, uh, are we playing Wheel of Fortune now? 😀
      P****… What might that be… Oh, I will take an S!

      Also, did you just censor yourself?

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      1. You’re not allowed to choose an S – that’s cheating!

        But, a little more seriously now, I don’t usually use bad language anyway but when it’s not my website, then it’s basic courtesy to not plaster it with lets call it “adult terminology”.

        I also quite like the !@#$ type censoring cause it just looks kind of expressive which is really what it’s all about in the first place. Should have done that instead of the stupid asterisks.

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    2. Adi, HS has been happily married for a long time, now with a daughter. He got more than enough P before he went feminist and I doubt that in his sleeping with students days he succeeded due to his great feminist analysis. Btw, before sleeping with students he did have many women, but 100% without any connection to feminism. Since he’s very frank about his past, I feel justified to believe him about this.

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  6. Did one of you read the comments?
    I did and it is kind of worth it, because more than a few of the commenters there recognize the bullshit that is pretending to be genuine concern.

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  8. “The fewer genuinely good men there are, the greater the bargaining power they have in relationship — and the more concessions women (at least those who are eager for marriage) are told they must make.”

    If these men were indeed genuinely good then why would they be misusing this supposed greater bargaining power?

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    1. —If these men were indeed genuinely good then why would they be misusing this supposed greater bargaining power

      That was my main problem with HS piece too…

      Concerning his motivations – I believe it is not about p****, it is about penitence…

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      2. Take your time….
        I am commenting here much more frequently than you come to our beautiful city, so the above comment was not a manipulative ploy to attract your attention. 🙂 🙂

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  9. Adi :

    Hugo Schwyzer is the ultimate PUA. A postmodern patriarch so full of tricks and lies that his flock of sheep don’t even realize they’re in a harem. Hi might have even managed to convince himself that he isn’t picking up women.

    What a BRILLIANT comment! I never thought about it this way but now that you pointed it out, it has become crystal clear. I always wondered why HS kept humiliating women and now I finally get it. He is a PUA. It totally makes sense.

    Thank you for the valuable insight, Adi.

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  10. So good to see that at least some people are on to Hugo. His feminist “conversion” and subsequent evangelism are very clearly the calculated strategy of a predator. He is sickening; a danger to any woman who comes into contact with him.

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      1. I had started to feel like I was the only person who was immune to the “Everybody Loves Hugo” hysteria.
        No you aren’t. The problem is most people who are hip to his game are (often unfairly) written off as angry anti-feminists. While some of them might be that doesn’t make them entirely wrong (in this case at least). And if you really want a comrade in arms on calling out HS go check out Toy Soldier (http://toysoldier.wordpress.com/2011/10/30/hypocrisy-at-its-best/).

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