The obvious but also very difficult answer [to the question of why I responded to a woman’s belittling and emasculating rejection of me with a fantasy in which I raped her] is that the structure of rape was already part of what I considered normal behavior between men and women, was in fact the framework through which I understood the meaning of that behavior…. Statements like this one, because of the way they can be read to suggest that men are all inherently and irrevocably rapists, are one source of many men’s discomfort with feminism. Yet women also internalize the structure of rape as part of their sexuality. They live in this culture no differently than we do, so how could they not? Still, no one tries seriously to deduce from this fact, at least not anymore, that women are all therefore inherently and irrevocably victims of rape.
It doesn’t even occur to this person who claims to be a feminist that women are just as likely to respond to belittling and humiliating rejections with fantasies of raping the men (or women) who rejected them. For this author, when women interiorize rape, it is always as victims. No other possibility is even present.
The central problem of today’s feminism is that it can’t even begin to accept the idea that women can be subjects of sexual desire, sexual activities, sexual violence, and, most definitely, of fantasies about perpetrating sexual violence.
And I’m not even going to start on how there is nothing wrong with any sorts of fantasies, as long as one doesn’t carry them out in real life.