“I was going to hit on you,” a man at the store says conversationally, “but then I saw your wedding ring and decided not to. Of course, there are guys who hit on married women but I don’t want to be one of them.”
“Than you for sharing this story,” I respond.
“Any time,” the man beams at me.
I have a feeling that the heat is melting everybody’s brains. Including mine.
I’ve spent the summer hidden at home and I can’t say I’m looking forward to rejoining the world all that much.
Clarissa's Blog 
Aww, you have an admirer. 😉
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“Of course, there are guys who hit on married women but I don’t want to be one of them.”
Can’t he just give himself a pat on the back silently? What does he want, a boy scout badge for not hitting on married women?
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That’s my point exactly. It’s just weird that people would share these things.
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It could be that he was still hitting on you. By saying, “I was going to hit on you,” he was stating that he finds you attractive, and then by saying he doesn’t want to be the kind of guy who hits on married women he’s distinguishing himself from other horndogs who wouldn’t have such scruples. After that he leaves things open to you. Had you replied with some flirtatiousness, maybe his scruples would have crumbled away pretty quickly. Not that any of this matters one way or another.
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With this kind of strategizing, it was his bad luck he ran into an autistic.
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Well he his hitting on you without hitting on you. You could say, “well, actually I am getting divorced soon…” or “we have an open marriage.” That’s what he was hoping for.
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I find I seldom can bear my fellow humans except in the early morning. I strive to have all my errands run in the a.m. so I can be home in the afternoon and evening. Sometimes I will venture out with my friends, the handful of people I really enjoy being with, in the evening.
And I’m not autistic, but the opposite of autistic, if there is a word for that.
Oh, and I’m old and not blonde, so I don’t get hit on.
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The last time I got hit on, I laughed at the guy because I didn’t think he was serious. I think I hurt his feelings a little. Oh well.
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Jonathan is right but you know, whatever. I’d have laughed.
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I will not be able to laugh or even smile until the temperature drops to at least +20C.
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20C, that is October weather here con suerte. Maybe November. We do not care as long as there is no hurricane.
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I know I shouldn’t expect anything before November. Last year it snowed twice. Two times!! How is a person supposed to live??
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Thanks for giving me a smile with the story 🙂
In all seriousness tho, I think the guy could have been very genuine and nice. Part of the thinking is that many men (maybe women too?, myself included sometimes i guess?) would/do enjoy getting compliments, so they may think you would really enjoy hearing that you have an admirer.
Just trying to provide context that he may not have been trying to be a perv or trying to get a badge of honor.
And now, to cross a barrier that perhaps I shouldn’t, I assume I would be similarly criticized for saying that intellectually you represent what I would hope to find in a woman someday? I don’t bring this to hit on you, but rather I would think that you might view that as a compliment and like to hear taht… or maybe I am just way out of whack and don’t get it.. idk! Sure I will find out with your response tho.
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On the guy, I agree. I know I said Jonathan was right above, etc., but I would take this as you suggest even if technically one could be more critical.
I got a more awkward compliment than that the other day, and the guy who said it, realized his wording was off as the words came out. So we both just laughed. I mean, we’re all in patriarchy all the time and some of the things we say are going to show it, and he meant well.
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Ah, that’s so cute! I totally do want to hear how great I am. 🙂
I am, in a fact, a perfect life partner because I never use the person I love to solve my psychological issues through them. And I’m fiercely loyal. And caring. OK, the bout of self-admiration has now subsided. 🙂
Thank you, Matt!!
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You’re welcome Clarissa 🙂
It is wierd…I remember somehow I got linked into an article at your blog.. went on an angry rant that you would be like the rest of feminists on a few other sites who weren’t quite so cerebral…and I guess I was certainly wrong!
Have a good weekend.
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