Stalker Manifesto

~ Clarissa

I knew that Sting was a piece of shit, but I didn’t know to what extent:

I woke up in the middle of the night with that line in my head, sat down at the piano and had written it in half an hour. The tune itself is generic, an aggregate of hundreds of others, but the words are interesting. It sounds like a comforting love song. I didn’t realize at the time how sinister it is. I think I was thinking of Big Brother, surveillance and control.

—Sting

Everybody knows that the song is a stalker manifesto written by Sting to intimidate his ex-wife. It doesn’t sound like “a comforting love song” to anybody but weirdos of Sting’s ilk. The song is creepy, the tune is obnoxious and banal. And the attempt to use this evidence of Sting’s infantile self-involvement as a statement on governmental surveillance is pathetic.

And now, thanks to reading the stupid linked article, I will have Sting’s nasty little jingle ringing in my ears all day long.

Unknown's avatar

Published by Clarissa

4 thoughts on “Stalker Manifesto”

  1. If he could just accept he wrote a creepy song from the perspective of a horrible person, it wouldn’t be so bad. I enjoy plenty of songs like that (Bad, Bad Things by Andrew Jackson Jihad, for instance). But he basically admitted he didn’t immediately realize how “every breath you take, I’ll be watching you” could sound just a tad sinister. It doesn’t help he’s an awful musician either.

    Like

    Reply

  3. An old blind guy wanders into an all girl biker bar by mistake…. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender – ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’ The whole bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says – ‘Before you tell that joke Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things’: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy Club’. 3. I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. ‘Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy… Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The old guy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters ‘No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times…….’

    Like

    Reply

    1. I heard the same joke in the United States, but it was about a certain all-too-loud sub-group of Texans who are graduates of a certain Texas university.

      Perhaps the cowboy is a graduate of that university, and the joke is now moseying onward … 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Leave a comment