Have you noticed this really obnoxious sales technique where salespeople skip parts of the pitch to rope customers in more effectively? Like, for instance, instead of “Are you interested in buying these magazines?” the salesperson says “How do you prefer to pay for these magazines?” Or instead of “Would you like to switch Internet providers?” the salesperson says “Can I make an appointment for Wednesday for our representative to come over and install our service?”
Since this sales technique is used a lot, I’m guessing it works. My question is, why does it work? My reaction to it is that of extreme rage that makes it hard for me to breathe. And OK, I know it’s not a normal reaction and I know why I react in such an intense way to people enacting the show titled “Your consent is immaterial” in my presence.
I’m not suggesting that rage is the most appropriate reaction here. But I’d expect people to stop any conversation with a salesperson who employs such a manipulative and disrespectful technique. Why don’t people do that? Why does this sales technique work so well?
Clarissa's Blog 
I’m sure there is a name for this technique but it is eluding me at the moment. The salesperson is creating the illusion that you’ve already agreed to the sale. A lot of people feel uncomfortable backing out of a deal once it has been made because they feel dishonest. Of course, it’s the salesperson who is being dishonest here because the deal was never made in the first place.
Second, they are replacing a harder decision with an easier one. Evaluating whether you want to switch internet providers is a harder decision than deciding whether you can be home on Wednesday for the installation.
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You are describing people who are very beaten down. Many things in the American political process are becoming very clear.
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I, unfortunately, happen to be like that to some extent. I don’t fall for these sales techniques but I also find it hard to say no. I most I can do is stubbornly keep avoiding buying anything till the salesperson gives up.
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It’s sleight of hand.
They are trained not to ask questions that are easy to say no to and to turn the ask into something seemingly smaller. By doing this, they’re directing the conversation and having the one they want to have. Listen to a politician answer questions. It’s never the “yes/no/either/or” in the question. The politician will always turn it around to what they want to talk about.
It doesn’t work most of the time, it works a higher percentage of the time than a direct question.
For example, asking a toddler if they want to put on the left sock or right sock first works better than “do you want to put on socks.” 🙂
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Precisely, and so why don’t people get angry when a stranger treats them like toddlers?
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“a stranger treats them like toddlers”
You say “toddlers” I say “consumers in a capitalistic system” let’s call the whole thing off!
(cn: that was a music reference).
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Potato, Po-tay-to, Pot-tah-to, Potatoe, Dan Quayle can’t use spell check…
Let’s call the whole thing off (Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong track)
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Simalarly when I worked in a store we were told to never ask “Is that all?” because it’s too easy to say ‘yes’ to. We were supposed to ask “Would you like anything else?” because most people prefer to say yes rather than no and, the theory goes, makes them think of what else they might want.
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Why do people prefer to say yes?? They feel like a “no” makes them sound like bad little boys and girls?
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“No” is a conflict. Americans traditionally tend toward the conflict adverse. A lot of American politeness rules are meant to preclude the possibility of conflict. Part of the reason for that is we’re terrible at arguing (cannot let anything go) and so we try to not let arguments start (this is also behind some of the principles of politeness in some Eastern Asian countries).
One of the things that surprised me in Poland is that people are not adverse to conflicts but they don’t necessarily hold onto grudges about them either. Seeing two people talking normally then yelling at each other and then calming down again (with neither side apologizing) is just not something I was used to.
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Cliff, this is unrelated to the post, but I have always been very curious to hear more about your background and how you ended up in Poland. As I understand you are from the US (I might be wrong) but live in Eastern Europe. I would love to learn more about the expectations, impressions, and whether you feel at home in Poland. I see you have a blog that you don’t use… Maybe a post there? Or perhaps Clarissa would like to host? I could too, if you prefer. Email works well, too.
Anyway, sorry if this is too creepy/intrusive, and sorry Clarissa for derailing the thread. I was just curious!
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No, that’s perfectly fine. I’ll be happy to host a guest post by Cliff.
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This explains a lot. I always wondered why people around here preceed every “no” with “sooooorreeeee”, said in a singsong and with a really weird wince. I’m like, what are you apologizing for? A no is a no.
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A traditional rule of politeness in the US is that any negative information or bad news has to be accompanied by some kind of expression of regret and/or sympathy. To not do so is rude by the standards of traditional mainstream American culture.
That’s why Americans are always saying things like “I’m sorry, but…” “I’m afraid that….” or “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid….”
I’m pretty sure this is true in other English speaking countries as well.
In Poland there is no such rule (and I’m sure that’s the case in Ukraine as well) and I got into any number of undignified wrangles before figuring out that people who were saying things like “You can’t go in there.” “I’m not going to do that” (to a very polite and reasonable request) were not being rude.
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It’s not all Americans who do it, though. Just the women. Especially here in the Midwest.
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It’s definitely women doing it far more than men. Especially outside of customer service situations.
Men don’t preface every single bit of negative information or mild inconvenience with “I’m sorry” or “I’m afraid.”
And I thought compulsive apologizing was a Canadian thing. :p
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Or expressing disagreement in scholarly contexts. It sounds very strange to me when people apologize for expressing their scholarly ideas. It’s not like anybody is going to be deeply wounded if their research is contested. What’s there to apologize for?
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It’s a very old technique that is meant to distract the person from the primary question (yes/no) and focus their attention on some detail that would follow a ‘yes’ answer.
It won’t work against someone who has conscious knowledge of the technique and/or is very strongly leaning toward ‘no’ in the first place. But it helps wear down resistance among the more wishy washy enough of the time that it’s worth using.
Back when I was taking some journalism courses (bad idea in retrospect but it made sense at the time) we were taught to never ask ‘yes/no’ questions in interviews but rather questions that would require longer, more detailed answers.
It’s a very easy technique to counter so rage is entirely unnecessary (or maybe something to discuss with your analyst – finding out why it provokes rage might give you some valuable information).
“How do you prefer to pay for these magazines?”
-I’m supposing magic beans aren’t an option?”
-Do I have to pay at all?
-Who said anything about paying?
-Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I haven’t said I want them yet.
“Can I make an appointment for Wednesday for our representative to come over and install our service?”
-You can, but I haven’t said you may.
-If he hooks us up without our consent we don’t have to pay, right?
-Why would you do that?
-Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I haven’t said I want your service yet.
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As I said, I’m very aware of why I react so strongly to this kind of thing. I’m just wondering why other people just accept it. I don’t necessarily recommend getting scary with salespeople but I do believe that the world would be a better place if we all just shut down every conversation where we are not being heard.
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What makes you think you’re not being heard? The technique is not about not listening, it’s about steering the conversation where they want it to go (and all human conversations feature that to some extent).
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Do I look like a person who’s into being steered a whole lot? 🙂
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I get enraged as well. It’s amazing, I spent most of my youth terrified of offending people. These days, many situations that used to have me curl into a ball now result in unbelievable rage, especially when someone is trying to pull wool over my eyes. I have been told that I don’t have the right personality to go into administration — propensity to bite people’s head off when they are full of Scheisse appears not to be a desirable trait — who knew? 😉
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I really confuse them because I say look, if you really need money I may be able to give you some, but only if I do not have to receive these magazines. Can you guarantee me that you will not send them if I send you a little money to your personal address?
That is because I am very angry at the techniques and also because they do make me feel sorry for the person using them. So I give this very mixed and passive aggressive reaction, when I am not normally like that.
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I also absolutely loathe that technique. I honestly hate most sales “techniques” and they make me less likely to spend money. I spend the most money if I am left alone in a store. Pushy clerks make me walk out actually. And when it comes to things like internet and other telephone purchases, I have to say very clearly and up front “I want this one product. Please don’t upsale me or try to tell me about any other products or I will go to a competitor.” That mantra usually works although I do have to repaeat it once or twice.
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Brilliant.
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“Please don’t upsale me or try to tell me about any other products or I will go to a competitor.”
If I were a salesman (thank god I’m not) I would hear you saying that as: “I have very low sales resistance and make empty threats.” and proceed accordingly.
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“If I were a salesman (thank god I’m not) I would hear you saying that as: “I have very low sales resistance and make empty threats.” and proceed”
Well I deploy a certain tone in these situations that cuts a very fine line between polite and steely (i.e. almost rude but not vulgar) Salespeople really do back off. I simply don’t buy what I don’t want and I’m very aware of my wants before/during/after I shop. (And for the record, I left my previous cell phone company because they wouldn’t stop trying to up-sell. I’m truly not kidding here. I still use a flip phone!)
I’m not austere by any stretch of the imagination. I love buying things as much as the next first world capitalist subject. 🙂 But I will only buy things that I know will bring me pleasure. So for better or for worse– I am a waste of time for most salespeople.
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“It’s not all Americans who do it, though. Just the women.”
That’s not the midwest I remember…. maybe you’re not noticing it in the men. True, they’re not likely to launch into a sing song “sorrreeee” but depending on social class they’ll make their regret clear about giving bad news in some fashion or other (if nothing else by mumbling and staring at the ground instead of looking at you).
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Yes, mumbling is definitely present. 🙂
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It’s not like anybody is going to be deeply wounded if their research is contested. What’s there to apologize for?
You would think so. But a shocking number of people take criticism/attack on their research as a personal attack on themselves. The head of the politics department did not take it kindly when I asked what the current relevance of a friend’s 20 year old paper had to to with the present. He didn’t attempt to explain. He had us read a badly written, abstruse paper that he ended up spoon feeding to a bunch of very confused upperclassmen. He badly wanted to give me a terrible grade on my final project but couldn’t because it was a group project and he adored the other two frat boys assigned to the group. I was a naive undergraduate who didn’t realize he controlled internships. Oh well.
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What an idiot. People like this have no place in teaching. Whenever students ask questions about the reading material (other than “will this be on the test?”) that’s cause to celebrate, not to get pissy.
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