The “Basque turn” of my scholarship is, to put it very mildly, not the smartest idea I could have had. I’m narrowing an already narrow field, which my colleagues from other departments consider to be irrelevant and arcane as it is. They consider research into Spain to be useless and boring, so what will they think if I ask for a grant to study the culture of a tiny part of this already ‘insignificant’ country? (I’m obviously not going to apply for such a grant because it’s a total waste of time). The Spanish language, at least, is interesting thanks to the enormous Latin American population of the world. But Euskera? If we were in Nevada, then OK, but not around here.
I feel like a married woman who has fallen violently in love and starts an affair even though she understands it’s destructive. I’m trying very hard to get interested in something else but it’s not working. I’m hopelessly obsessed.
A smart person in my place would branch out into Latin America, which I’m very well-equipped to do. But love can’t be reasoned away.