No peach can bring as many benefits to a kid as a mother who is not a self-sacrificing, guilt-tripping neurotic.
Just eat the fucking peach, lady, and spare us the martyr show.
Costs of a Peach
Opinions, art, debate
Opinions, art, debate
No peach can bring as many benefits to a kid as a mother who is not a self-sacrificing, guilt-tripping neurotic.
Just eat the fucking peach, lady, and spare us the martyr show.
Clarissa's Blog 
Last year my dad saw the last peach on the tree and thought, “I better pick that before I go inside this morning so a squirrel doesn’t get it.”
Not ten seconds later the dog came up (clearly she was thinking “oh look, a peach!”) and plucked it right off the tree.
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Here’s how that plays out in my house:
[peach on counter]
Me: Better get someone to eat that before I do, or it’ll screw up my blood sugar.
[gives it to kids]
Kids, after one bite: We don’t like peaches anymore.
[remains of peach go in the trash]
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“Put peaches on the shopping list.”
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How it goes here is I’ll eat it and then my kids will show up mid-peach and bite off of mine. Then we all enjoy the peach.
Or I wait until naptime so I can eat the peach in peace.
I need to get off my butt to a farm to buy some local peaches. It has been so hot and I’m 38 weeks pregnant so convincing myself do anything but eat and sleep is hard work. We missed blueberry picking season this year.
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I am the child of such a mother, and my reaction to these comics being reposted during the last few days is that I was probably lucky that there was no Internet when I was a child and so my mother’s passive-aggressive comments about how much I inconvenienced her for the fact of being born were intended only for me and not broadcasted to the rest of the world.
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I’m with you, my friend. I’m all with you.
But at least this is a society that’s healthy enough to ridicule the peach mother. That’s already a good thing.
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Random stranger 1: Look, he’s leaving that peach for his girlfriend, so generous.
Random stranger 2: Here she comes, she’s going to pick up that peach.
GF: I can leave this peach here for a while, isn’t fully ripe yet.
Random stranger 1: Wait, what? She must hate peaches.
Random stranger 2: Who’s the boyfriend saving the peach for?
Me: Maybe we don’t like peaches as much as you think we do.
Reality: I hate peaches.
Also reality: I’m an awful person because I didn’t greedily consume the peach.
Also also reality: The GF is also an awful person because she’s going to take the peach when it’s ripe, and so I won’t have a peach.
BUT WHO’S STICKING UP FOR PEACH RIGHTS HERE? 🙂
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