Get Over It

I think I should get a bunch of T-shirts saying in big red letters, “Yes, I gave birth at 40.” It’s come up on 3 separate occasions in the past two days, and people just can’t wrap their minds against it. One person went as far as saying, “But that’s not possible!”

My friend told me that her physical therapist asked her how old I am because his friend is the mother of Klara’s friend at school (I know, confusing), and they are all wondering.

I’m too old to care about this kind of thing but it’s getting boring. It’s not even that big of a deal. My grandmother got pregnant with twins at 45, and she thought it was menopause and related weight-gain until the third trimester. The twins are now very active 65-year-olds. My first husband was born to a 42-year-old mother, and my close friend got pregnant by accident at 43 and then again at 46. Both kids are now adults.

It happens. Let’s get over it.


7 thoughts on “Get Over It

  1. It is bizarre how many people don’t understand that forty is still well within most women’s fertile window. My own mother lamented that my little sister was born the day after she turned 40, then went on to have three more children, the last when she was 48. I married young, and the 21-year-old guy I married was born when his own mother was 20, so I spent the first 12 years of our marriage a little concerned that his mom could surprise him with a younger sibling. When she did hit menopause, she confided to me that she had been worried about the same thing.

    Perhaps the high visibility women who’ve required medical interventions in order to conceive in their late 30’s has contributed to this widespread cultural misunderstanding.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I think you’re right about who/what has high visibility (because for some reason looking hot and gym-fit means your reproductive system is working well? Not necessarily). Popular culture emphasizes fertility struggles because they are struggles (i.e., make for more interesting stories). Based on the abundance of infertility and IVF stories, it seems like it’s almost impossible to get pregnant naturally at any age. In reality, most women do get pregnant fairly easily and, in the past, women routinely had a dozen children and had them well into their forties. I recently read that there is a specific genetic profile that enables some women to remain fertile much longer, well into their fifties. One such woman got pregnant naturally (and accidentally) at 56 and carried a healthy boy to term. The best thing, she took it all in stride.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Yep! My m0ther had two miscarriages and was told she couldn’t bare children, so my parents adopted a daughter when she was 32 years old. Then 8 years later she got pregant at 40 and had me.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. “… and people just can’t wrap their minds against it …”

    Quite obviously they’re about to rumble you as a time traveller.

    You can mock them with some of the truth, of course.

    “Ah, this speedy vote counting, such a luxury! This didn’t go nearly as quickly for Andrew Jackson!”

    “Talk to me about environmentalism after you’ve been in a stagecoach.”

    “Streets with tarmac and pavements! You have no idea how good you have it! Relatively disease-free streets are a luxury!”

    And so on.

    But I do have to ask: how was your adjustment process?

    Mine was rather abrupt as I was suddenly standing in a warehouse full of outdated yet usable tech.

    A bit of advice then: backward is a lot easier than forward, just as long as you understand the backward you’re travelling to.

    Try to stay out of 1834 if you can possibly help it.

    Too many interesting things happen that year for there to be another accident.

    Some friends threw a birthday party that got out of hand, of course.

    Valour trampling cowardice underfoot indeed! 🙂


  4. In the US, until about five minutes ago, the preferred form of contraception was to just go ahead and have as many kids as you wanted, and then get a hysterectomy. Barbaric, but it did lead to certain things seeming more normal than they really are.

    My uncle was born when his own mother was 45 or so. He has a brother 20 years his senior. My youngest was born when I was just shy of 39, and we could still have another. Not planning to, but stuff happens. People don’t act shocked that I have young kids, but do sometimes seem puzzled by my husband, who is very close to my age but looks perpetually 20.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I had my last baby a few months before my 41st birthday. My hair had begun to turn gray, and everyone who didn’t know better assumed that she was my grandchild. I tried coloring my hair, but unfortunately my face gave me away, so it was no use.

    Then there was the experience of going through menopause at the same time my daughter was going through puberty, but that’s another story…


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