We have a group of wealthy people in the community who want to support our program. Asbestos claims lawyers, good money. They decided to give out scholarships in the amount of $1,500 (one thousand five hundred American dollars, just to be completely clear), no strings attached, to students in our program. Very eager to just give away money. All that the students had to do was write a 1-page essay about why they decided to go into our program.
Now, as adults who all have an OK living, how do you feel about $1,500? I might be a total weirdo here but I think it’s good money. I wouldn’t scoff at it. Tell me where I can pick up $1,500 for a one-page piece of writing, and I’m first in line.
Not so our students. Most refused even to try. They are too busy, and writing is hard. Out of those who agreed, one used AI, another made an extraordinary number of spelling mistakes , including IN THE NAME OF OUR BLOODY PROGRAM, and yet another quit after one paragraph without even finishing it. The last sentence kind of fizzled out before actually ending.
The lawyers are confused. They wanted to give away money. They deposited the money into our scholarship account and arrived today to discuss the applications. They, busy, successful people, could be bothered to come and give money. But nobody could be bothered to take it.
Our students aren’t remotely rich. This is really not a privileged crowd in any way, shape, or form. So what is it?
It’s not just the scholarship. I’m going to fire my lab GA who will lose not only the salary but her tuition waiver. This means she’s out $15,000 just like that, and even this can’t motivate her to send me the correct spreadsheet with exactly 5 lines in it 4 weeks in a row.
I’m not saying they are all like that. But very many are. Way too many. And as God is my witness, I can’t explain it.
Clarissa's Blog 
Best guess: the schools train them in it.
I’m teaching a relative right now, who’s been in public schools. Same age as my eldest. Fine at math. OK at all other subjects. But writing a short essay… nope. This is a person who would have no problem putting hours of personal content up on TikTok, but asked to organize thoughts and set them down on paper in a prescribed formula, fights and resists like I’ve just asked her to muck out a sewer by hand. Spells and punctuates better than my kids. Totally fine with writing short stories, even. Cannot commit to a logical, organized nonfiction, no matter how short, without it becoming a gigantic stress event that she tries to weasel out of.
I’m mystified.
What the hell are they teaching kids about writing, in grade schools?
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That’s exactly what I’m seeing, and I’m mystified, too.
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To prep the kiddos for writing a short essay, I sat down and read aloud A Modest Proposal to them, straight-faced and without any preamble. It was delightful– they listened, seriously… until about halfway through where they started scrunching up their faces, and then we progressed to the “Wait, WAIT… is he saying we should EAT BABIES?!?”
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OT but very timely and relevant: WordPress is going to sell customer data for AI training.
https://www.404media.co/tumblr-and-wordpress-to-sell-users-data-to-train-ai-tools/
“… internal communications reviewed by 404 Media make clear that deals between Automattic, the platforms’ parent company, and OpenAI and Midjourney are imminent.”
Which of course includes this blog …
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“I can pick up $1,500 for a one-page piece of writing”
Was the $1500 for anyone who submitted and essay? One person out of all submitted essays? Selected essays that are deemed ‘good enough’?
I’m thinking of job wars…. there are so many stories of some crap job opening and the employers being flooded with absurd amounts of applicants… repeated over and over,, that’s gotta take the wind out of a lot of people’s sails. The thinking might be “there’ll be a ton of applicants… I have no chance…. why try?”
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This was for our Majors. And yes, we don’t have a lot of majors. But only 4 people out of 20 submitted.
It’s an important point about job applications, though. I’m now required to post all my lab worker positions as open searches “to be inclusive”. As a result, I’m flooded with applications from Ghana and Bangladesh, driving me nuts because I have to dig through mountains of these fake applications to get to one real one.
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Which is why every crap CVS-clerk type job now requires you to complete a 30-page application that includes a covert personality test, takes an hour to complete, and times out fifteen times so that you have to start over. I think it’s to filter out the spambots. But also it’s poorly designed and glitchy. Back when we were still poking at the entry-level jobs out of desperation, the only ones that offered any hope at all were the ones where you have to go apply in person.
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When you seek to be a charity case, go big or go home.
Or do both if you are at university, after all, “The ‘Rents” are the unaspirant teen’s charity of last resort.
Why complicate that client-donor relationship with yet another one?
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