I have a wasp nest in my office at work. I mean this literally and not as a metaphor for the state of things in academia. It’s the busiest time of the academic year, and now I’m.an internally displaced person with no office.
It’s barely above freezing outside and I have wasps buzzing over my head in the office. It’s unfair.
When the wasps see me, they perk up immediately because I probably look like their best chance for a meal.
Wasps like meat. You could try putting crumbled ground beef on a plate near their nest, so they have no reason to go further into the building.
I like to see them in my garden– the varieties we have are not aggressive and I have never gotten stung unless I accidentally grabbed one while weeding or picking beans (it’s happened twice ever). They patrol the garden plants looking for caterpillars and other insects (the sort that eat my plants), to grab and stuff in the holes in their nests, to feed their babies when they hatch. If you open up an un-hatched wasp nest, you will find it crammed with dead spiders, little grasshoppers, and other bugs. It’s pretty cool.
…or any other kind of meat. Ask around. Maybe somebody’s got a baloney sandwich 😉
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The nest is right above my head. And I’m that plate of chopped meat because that’s how I feel these days.
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We had some very hot days recently. Then it became bitterly cold. I understand why they don’t want to be outside but what am I supposed to do?
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Put some water out for them in a shallow dish so they don’t die? Indoors is a pretty hostile environment, even if it is warm :/
The traditional route is to let building maintenance come spray them.
We have had some luck watching for times of day when the wasps are hanging around on the nest itself, squirting soapy water on them (this doesn’t always kill them, they’re pretty tough, but it does incapacitate them so they can’t fly– they fall on the ground), and then removing the nest while the adults are down. The adults will go wherever the nest is– so if you just disappear the nest, you’ll still have escapee wasps, and they’ll try to rebuild in the same spot. But if they can find the nest somewhere else (like in a box you can slap a lid on) they’ll go there, and they can be relocated outdoors.
I know, I know, nobody likes wasps. Except me. I think they’re beautiful. I also relocate spiders, mosquito hawks, beetles, bees, and other chitinous critters, rather than kill them. They’re doing their jobs and trying to get on with life same as the rest of us.
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A conservative literary critic and college professor
Clarissa's Blog 
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