Clarissa Rules!

So. I have graded everything. And calculated the final grades. And entered the final grades into the system. I have also created the syllabi for the next semester, planned the first week of classes, and printed everything out. I’m done, people.

The secret to finishing the grading and the course preparation for the next semester so fast is Ally McBeal. I watched the entire first season while I was grading. I hate this show. It is the most inane TV show I have ever seen. It is also offensive to women.

The strategy was to have it play next to me on my Kindle Fire while I grade. I dislike the show so much that I was motivated to finish everything as soon as possible so that I don’t have to watch any moreĀ Ally McBeal. And it worked.

I’m now completely and utterly free from anything teaching-related until January 10. Yippee! I totally rule.

How Does Royalty Live?

From a final exam: “Women in Franco’s Spain lived like royalty: they stayed at home, cooked, cleaned, etc.”

I guess this student and I are seeing different kinds of royalty on TV. How often do you think Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II does the dishes? I have a sneaking suspicion she does them even less often than I do.

More on Putin’s Botox Addiction

Since people keep coming to the blog in droves seeking Putin’s Botox pictures, I’m happy to oblige. Here is a comparison of how he looked before and how he looks now:

Enjoy! I will be entering the final grades tomorrow and after that I promise to stop posting celebrity gossip and write good, intelligent posts.

Final Exams II

“What Latin American countries need to resolve their problems it to elect one person who would rule over all Latin American countries at once and who’d be benevolent.”

“Only one country has been able to trick the IMF and give it the taste of its own medicine, and that was Russia. It’s a shame Russia is not in Latin America!”

“Racism is huge in Latin America today because of what happened with Hitler and the Jews.”

“The main problem in Latin America today is that they don’t have a fantastic president like Obama. He saved our country from another depression. Just think what he could do for Latin America.”

“Franco wanted women to wear non-Modernist clothes that showed a lot.”

“To solve its problems, Latin America should encourage individualism. Once this is done, poverty will decrease and the economy will thrive.”

Final Exams

“There is a magnificent gap between the poor and the rich in Latin American countries.”

“What Latin America needs to solve its economic problems is more corporations!”

“The IMF works hard to decrease poverty in Latin America and to make Latin people and people throughout the world wealthy.” [To my Latin American readers: please believe that I did not teach this. I’m from Ukraine, which makes my attitude to the IMF violently negative.]

“Galeano says that the US exploits Latin America. That just isn’t true. The US helps them a lot. For example, people in the US adopt babies from orphanages all over the world. And how about all of the help we provided to Iraq and Afghanistan.”

It’s 8:40 am and I kind of feel like having that drink already. Fifty-nine more exams to go.