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A Mystifying Review

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Clarissa

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Some reviews of resorts are simply mystifying. Take this one, for example:

With the resort being so huge, you have a variety of choice of what type of vacation you want to have, the swim up pools offer a quite and almost private environment, the main pool offers a quite but more public venu, the beach speaks for itself and if you want a more vibrant and active area you can go to one of the many other pools located throughout the resort.

The “beach speaks for itself” part is very mysterious. I’m glad it speaks, but what does it say, exactly? I’d really like to know since the beach is pretty much the entire reason we even go to a resort (unlike the weirdos who go all the way to Punta Cana to sit in a chlorinated swimming pool).

6 responses to “A Mystifying Review”

  1. feMOMhist Avatar
    feMOMhist

    id settle for being on a beach now, no matter what it said to me

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      Good point. 🙂

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  2. danmillerinpanama Avatar
    danmillerinpanama

    Why not vacation in Dominica rather than in the Dominican Republic? It’s a bit further to the south and has just one small beach (as I recall) of warm black sand, heated by underground streams from a dormant volcano. You would be unlikely to find many tourists sitting around in air conditioned comfort there; there are fewer tourists of any description.

    You could travel by canoe up a beautiful river to see birds you probably have not yet seen, along with strange flowers overhanging from the trees under which you pass. I understand that parts of a Disney fantasy motion picture were filmed there. Inland, you could hike in the mountains to spectacular waterfalls.

    You might want to have a snack, or even a full meal, at a small farm a Dominican acquired when artificial citric acid made the growing of limes unprofitable. Years ago, when my wife and I visited and were served a meal very nicely by his family, the owner was so proud of a milking machine he had built (for his one cow) based on a design in a British magazine that he had to show it to us and then give us a tour. We also saw an injured bird, still in the back of his truck, that he had rescued and was about to treat. He had started his little restaurant as a snack bar for hikers going to a waterfall.

    Those are on the west coast of the island. On the east coast, we visited an “Indian” reservation, where the women looked much like those I had seen in Korea years ago — mama sans taking short steps, hands clasped behind them. We were told that a Japanese tourist had approached one of the men and begun speaking in rapid Japanese. He was not understood.

    It’s one of the most interesting and enjoyable islands we visited while sailing around in the Caribbean.

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  3. danmillerinpanama Avatar
    danmillerinpanama

    Clarissa, I posted rather a lengthy comments a little while ago suggesting that you consider Dominica rather than the Dominican Republic. Strangely, it has not appeared.

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  4. Tim Avatar
    Tim

    Hey, if the hills have eyes, I guess the beaches can have mouths 🙂

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    1. bloggerclarissa Avatar
      bloggerclarissa

      I don’t do weed, so the inagery eludes me. 🙂

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A conservative literary critic and college professor

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