Clarissa's Blog

This week, the White House decided to make those emails from concerned citizens public through the commission’s new website. But the administration made a big mistake: It didn’t censor any of the personal information — such as names, email addresses, actual addresses, and phone numbers — included in those emails.

I want everybody to keep very quiet right now so that we can hear the uproarious outrage coming from our libertarian, anti-big government, Ayn Randian freedom-lovers. 

I’m sure they are about to have something to say regarding this totalitarian gesture. They’ve got to have at least some mousy little protest ready, right? 

Yes, alien life forms do exist. And they are creepy as fuck.

Yes, the Trumpies have a weird reaction to the word “orange.” 

The sex police is energized and eager to persecute. 

I finally figured out what’s behind the moans of climate doomsayers. They describe their climate feelings as deeply erotic experiences. They are modern mystics.

Columbia finally paid a settlement to the victim in the Mattress Art Project case. Universities are stuck in a situation where they have to calculate which sum of money is smaller, a settlement to a slandered and expelled student or the federal funding lost if slanders and expulsions aren’t too enthusiastic. 

Thank you, Mr Obama. This truly helps higher education. 

One of the most important Russian dissidents Yulia Latynina is shilling for Trump like her life depends on it. 

“Have you wondered why all the educated, intelligent people in the U.S. are embarrassed by Trump?” she is asked. 

“It’s because they have been brainwashed by a conspiracy of liberal college professors,” she responds. “And here in Russia we have the freedom to see things clearly ”

This is just one tiny example to illustrate this very important thing I’m asking you to remember: there is no such thing as a Russian dissident who doesn’t work for the Kremlin. All opposition in Russia is completely fake. 

I’m starting to see these “Russian dissidents” in the US media more and more often, and I’m disturbed by that. People, haven’t we been manipulated by the Putinoid propaganda machine enough? Please, be vigilant. Turn off the TV, turn over the page, move right along whenever you see any of these clowns. They are good at telling you whatever you want to hear, distracting you, and then slipping in their poison. 

The administration of my university sucks dick. Now that we have our state funding, people started saying that we want our cost of living increases that we haven’t gotten in 4 years. Immediately, the nasty president and chancellor responded to the effect that well, if you hadn’t voted for the union, you’d now have raises galore. But since you did vote for the union, that, tragically, precludes us from giving raises. 

None of it is even remotely true. The administration is counting on the brain dead among us who will believe this bunch of sorry lies. Of course, that will be quite a few people. 

This is the same admin that blamed the union for being divisive. It’s as clear an example of a projection as I’ve ever seen.

I can’t believe people are buying into the clumsy marketing strategy devised by Beyonce and Jay-Z to the point of getting emotional about it. 

The desire to feel “just like” the very rich robs people of the last vestiges of reason. 

N loves me with my hair in the state of complete natural curliness. I feel embarrassed by its wildness but he’s super into it.

I also love the pearl-clutching over how “Mrs. Macron was suitably creeped out” by Trump’s compliment to her fitness. The rancid old hag fucked her own underage student. So I’m guessing we shouldn’t be so afraid of wounding her virginal sensibilities. Trump, at least, has never been caught engaging in buggering kiddies. 

I honestly don’t understand what is the problem with one old person telling another old person “You are in such good shape.” I’m already at the age when people share their blood sugar and blood pressure readings the second they meet because that’s all they care about any longer. In 30 years, that will be all I’ll want to talk about. 

My vocabulary in English and Russian is in the top 0,01%. In Spanish it’s in the top 0.23%. The test I took told me I’m Shakespeare, Cervantes and Pushkin combined. 

Want to check out your score?