OK, just one more quote from Gissing’s The Odd Women and I promise to stop bugging you with this:
Women had individual characters; that discovery, though not a very profound one, impressed him with the force of something arrived at by independent observation. Monica often puzzled him gravely; he could not find the key to her satisfactions and discontents. To regard her simply as a human being was beyond the reach of his intelligence.
Isn’t this brilliant? I know quite a few men and women who believe the patriarchal myth of the profound differences between the sexes and who drive themselves to distraction trying to figure out what these mysterious creatures want. The idea that men and women are all simply different individuals is completely alien to them. They ruin their lives, live in misery, go from one unhappy relationship to another, obsessed with the hope of finding some guiding principle, some great law that governs the behavior of all men or all women.