David Gendron brought the following Facebook comment to this blog:
My lover has Asperger’s. Practically, it means that he never ask me “How are you?”, that he rarely takes the time to hear from me, that he gives me the same red roses for my anniversary even if I tell him each year that I prefer wild flowers, that, when he’s at our house, he helps me one time out of three to carry grocery bags, that he expects me to prepare regularly home meals for him, that I walk always beside him (not in the back nor in front) when we take walks, even though he walks faster than me, that he bawls out to me when I walk one inch behind him, that he needs to talk to me endlessly about his electronic stuff, that he never answers to my questions even if the answer is simply “yes” or “no”, that he talks to me all the time or that he ignores me totally.
But he’s not narcissic nor egoïst. He has Asperger’s and I love him.
I have heard a similar speech quite often, so let me tell you the following: there is NO diagnosis, NO condition, NO disease, NO life situation, NO issue that entitles anybody to treat people like crap. There is absolutely no excuse to treat a human being in a way described in this comment. If anybody does anything to you that you are not 100% comfortable with, you are absolutely entitled to put a stop to that immediately. They can have a list of diagnoses from here to the Moon, but if you are not 100% comfortable, you have the right to get out.
Of course, it’s up to you how much you are willing to tolerate. Just remember that putting up with this sort of garbage has nothing to do with love. And neither does behaving in this way.
I also find it quite offensive that some jerkwad would use Asperger’s to justify walking all over this idiot of a girlfriend. Yes, people with Asperger’s often find it very hard to navigate their way through personal relationships. They are, however, perfectly capable of learning, adapting, compromising, and creating very fulfilling personal lives if that is what they want to do.
And as for expecting some subservient air-head to prepare home cooked meals, can anybody in their right mind really think this can be a symptom of anything but being a jerk?
Jeez, what lies wouldn’t people tell themselves to avoid facing their problems.