Missing Lucas

One of my greatest fears was always that if I give birth to a baby I wouldn’t love it. And don’t say this isn’t possible. There are people I know very well who told me that they had no positive feelings for their children from day one (and into adulthood), and this became the greatest tragedy of their lives. Imagine what the experience of those children was. So, of course, I was worried.

Today, however, my fears were allayed. During the birth preparation class, we were taken to the neonatal unit to look at babies. We live in a small town, so there was only one baby, a tiny preemie named Lucas. We stared at him through the glass partition while he screamed his little head off.

I only saw him through the glass, but I already love this baby. If I could, I would totally take him home. Everybody in the group seemed to feel this way, too.

I should have just visited a neonatal unit a long time ago to figure all this out.

Abortions and Zygotes Win the Game

I’m playing my favorite word game against my favorite opponent Mariah. First, Mariah defeated me with the word “abortion.” In the next game, I defeated Mariah with the word “zygotes.” But in the following game she came at me with the word “embryonal,” and I lost again.

I’m beginning to wonder if Maria was one of the women sitting next to me at the prepared birth class today.

Grammar Non-Discrimination Team

Yale Alumni Magazine has regaled its readers with an article about the university’s “grammar non-discrimination team” that advocates the acceptance of expressions like “I loves my grammar” and “he ain’t lerned nothing” as equal to the “dialect of the elite.” The dialect of the elite is, to give an example, the language I’m using on this blog.

The so-called linguist who leads the team of spoiled rich Yale brats in this “let’s condescend to the stupid proles” endeavor regales us with the ridiculous idea that the grammar of the English language is ver complex. One would think that even a Linguistics 101 student, let alone a professor, would know that English has one of the simplest gramars of all Indo-European languages. Well, what can you expect from an idiot who justifies the existence of the “grammar non-discrimination team” by saying that “we don’t wear our hair the same way as our grandparents did.” Don’t ask me how the hair-style choices of this Legally Blonde joke of a professor should be relevant to what projects the university undertakes.

As an elitist who thinks that if you speak a language, it isn’t that much trouble to learn to speak it correctly, I’m appalled at what my alma mater is becoming. Yale’s graduate school is rapidly turning into a finishing school for the children of the very rich who entertain themselves with non-discrimination teams as they wait for their trust funds to mature.