Plane to Madrid

As I’m standing in line to board the plane, somebody pushes me aggressively in the back several times and forgets to apologize, another person jumps on my foot.

When I begin to walk down the aisle, two older ladies survey my outfit with critical stares, roll their eyes, and make disapproving noises. A gentleman stands riveted in the aisle, waving his arms about and maintaining an unhurried but very loud discussion with somebody in the crowd.

I keep getting jostled in the back by passengers who seem to refuse to notice my existence.

Oh Spanish people! I have missed you so.

I’m now working on removing the beatific American expression of tranquility and politeness off my face and putting on a more appropriate expression of a permanent Spanish annoyance. The smiles are out, the eye-rolls and growling are in.


I smiled and winked at a beautiful red-haired child of about 5.

Her parents beamed back at me.  And then I realized that if I were a man traveling alone, doing the same thing would make people think I was some sort of a creep.

In general, looking at people and smiling doesn’t have the same connotations as if I were a man. 

It’s Already Like Spain

On the flight to Miami everybody speaks Spanish. Of course, there are no Spanish accents, just Cuban and, for some reason, Argentinean. But it all makes sense because Argentineans and Cuban immigrants can easily contest the Spaniards’ title of the most obnoxious Spanish-speakers. And I say this in the most lving way possible.

Sick of Politicians

My flight is delayed, so I sat down in front of a TV screen to watch the news. And what do I see but Obama making a speech about how opposed he is to cutting the defense budget to any extent whatsoever. Has he forgotten who and why elected him? What is going on with the fellow?

He already has his drones and his kill lists. Does he want a huge, unwieldy, money-guzzling, outdated military, too? This is ridiculous. And it is also dishonest. Remember how we all laughed when Romney demonstrated his outdated love for old-style military during the debates? And now we have Obama ranting against putting the Pentagon on a diet.

Also, these politicians are useless, folks. All of them. They do little but create constant drama. Elections, fiscal cliff, sequester. When will they can the drama and just do their extremely well-paid jobs?