I constantly oscillate between “wow, I’m completely Americanized, that’s so cool” and “shit, I’ll never figure out this country, I’m a total alien.”
I not only understand the expression “a cereal-for-dinner kind of person” but it’s now actually a great pleasure of mine to experiment with cereals at night. I’m completely Americanized!
Nothing seems more natural to me than buying The Atlantic and The National Review together but people have a very weird reaction. This is hopeless, I’ll never get it!
I recently understood a Star Wars joke. And it was funny! I laughed! I’m completely Americanized!
I’m not getting the Junot Diaz controversy. It feels like it’s easier to learn another language than to figure it out. This is hopeless, I’ll never get it!
I wore yoga pants to the store. And I loved it. I’m completely Americanized!
The lady at the park is asking if Klara likes chocolate milk. What’s chocolate milk? Does she mean milk chocolate? This is hopeless, I’ll never get it!
I bought underwear at Walmart. And it’s really good. I’m completely Americanized!
I decided to be frugal and clip coupons. But the coupon sheet seemed more confusing than a medieval Castilian chronicle. This is hopeless, I’ll never get it!
The best lunches I ever had happen in my office and there’s a lot of pushing around of the keyboard involved. I’m completely Americanized!
When I tell people I’m going on a beach vacation for three weeks, they look stunned and keep repeating, “how long?? But why??” This is hopeless, I’ll never get it!
And it goes on and on.